Author: LGBTI Project

The Gay, Lesbian, and Feminist Backlash

The modern era of the gay & lesbian rights movement is usually marked as starting on a hot July evening at the Stonewall Inn in New York City’s Greenwich Village. The New York police, as many city police departments across the United States did, made period raids on sexual minority bars to harass and arrest the patrons. On this particular night, transgendered woman, Sylvia Rivera, resisted arrest, touching off a riot that continued for three nights running.

In the next year, three transgendered people, Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson, and Angela Keyes Douglas would play pivotal roles in organizing the emergent Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance. The goal of the Gay Liberation Front was complete acceptance of sexual diversity and expression. But by 1971 the gay men’s community had returned to the assimilationist strategy as the lesbians, in 1973, turned to separatism and radical feminism. There seemed to be no room for transgendered people in either camp.

In 1971, the GAA wrote and introduced a bill to the New York City Council that was the first omnibus anti-discrimination bill to protect homosexual people. However, inspite of early and avid support of the GAA by transgendered people the bill completely ignored transgendered people. Silvia Rivera, disgusted by the batrayal, said to the leaders of the GAA, “It’s not us that they are afraid of — its you! Get rid of us. Sell us out. Make us expendable. Then you’re at the front lines. Don’t you understand that?” This marked the first serious batrayal, but certainly not the last.

Disillusioned by the GAA’s betrayal of transgendered people, Angela Douglas formed the Transsexual Activist Organization along the same lines as the GAA, with some of the loftier ideals of the GLF. She began publishing MoonShadow, a quirky newsletter for and about transgendered people and the struggle for legal rights.

In early 1970’s, Beth Elliott was active in a number of organizations including the Alice B. Toklas Gay Democratic Club, which she co-founded, the Board of Directors of the California Committee for Sexual Law Reform working to repeal California’s anti-sodomy laws, and the Daughters of Bilitus. The Daughters of Bilitus had been a pioneering lesbian organization during the 1950s and ‘60s, but was losing membership in the ‘70s as the lesbian community turned to more radical organizing. In ‘73 Ms. Elliott was asked to stand for election as the Vice-President of the San Francisco chapter of the Daughters of Bilitus. Late in her term of office her transgender status became a point of contention at the West Coast Lesbian Conference, where she was outed and vilified for being a MTF transsexual. The complaint was that Beth Elliott had insinuated herself into a position of power over women as a patriarchal man, a propagandist ploy that was to become common when attacking other transgendered people . At the conference she was forced to stop her music concert due to the catcalls from the audience by women that knew nothing more about her than that she was transsexual. She was required to sit through a popular vote of the attendees to determine whether they would let her finish her set. In the weeks and months to follow she was further vilified and even betrayed by women who had once called her friend. The treatment she received led her to become “stealth” for many years after.

In July of 1973, during a “Gay is Good” rally, Sylvia Rivera was followed on the stage by lesbian separatist Jean O’Leary. She denounced transgender people as men who, by “impersonating women”, were exploiting women for profit. It was the beginning of a series of such high profile transphobic attacts from the lesbian community.

In 1977, at the height of the Right Wing / Anita Bryant anti-gay rights backlash, the lesbian feminist separatist movement was busy attacking an even smaller community that only wanted to work within the lesbian community, lesbian identified transsexual women. Central to the conflict in ‘77 was transsexual recording engineer, Sandy Stone, working at Olivia Records.

Sandy Stone was a recording engineer for A&M Records before her transition. Olivia Records needed a recording engineer with skills and experience to help their fledgling all women’s recording studio. They found it in Sandy Stone. She recorded a number of their early albums, training other women on proper recording and mixing technique. When word got around that Olivia had a transsexual in the company, lesbian separatists threatened a boycott of Olivia products and concerts. Olivia Records was on the edge of profitability. A boycott would destroy them. Olivia supported Stone at first but eventually crumpled beneath the separatists demands, asking for Sandy’s resignation.

Angela Douglas became upset at the vitriolic, absurd, and transphobic comments broadcast on listener sponsored station KPFA in Berkeley, California and letters published in the feminist journal Sister. She wrote a very tongue-in-cheek satirical letter to the editor of Sister, the night before the 1977 San Francisco Gay Pride Parade.

The next day, at the Parade, a “gender bending” MTF individual handed out fliers that was written in protest of the Parade Committee’s policy of exclusion of “Drag Queens, Transvestites, and Transsexuals” . The policy was formulated in the hope of heading off the media which tended to focus on the flamboyant, instead of the very serious issues of Gay & Lesbian community pride and efforts to fight homophobia in society. However, transphobia had operated in the Parade Committee to equate transgendered people with “flamboyant” social unacceptability and political liability.

After the parade, Angela Douglas wrote a short essay with photos for the Berkeley Barb, in which she decried the efforts to exclude transgendered people. She asked if there shouldn’t be a counter parade by transgendered people, to be held on Halloween, a day that one is supposed to be flamboyant!

Two years later Janice Raymond in The Transsexual Empire, wrote of the events of 1977, casting Ms. Stone as an agent of the “Patriarchy” and “divisive”. The letter that Angela Douglas wrote as satire was quoted out of context, as an example of transsexual hatred of women, by Raymond. Her quoting out of context a letter written by Douglas was tantamount to intellectual dishonesty, with scholarly repercussions.

Janice Raymond was a professor at the University of Massachusetts. She is infamous for having written her doctoral thesis attacking transsexuality, denying its medical reality, and for viciously attacking individual transsexuals, notably Sandy Stone and Angela Keyes Douglas in her book, based on her dissertation. The book uses insensitive and transphobic language throughout, while vilifying feminine MTF transsexuals as tools of patriarchy for upholding stereotypes of women, and vilifying androgynous lesbian identified MTF transsexuals for being tools of patriarchy, fifth columnists infiltrating womens’ space and “raping womens’ bodies”, a typical ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t’ trap. She dismisses FTM transsexuals as deluded and misguided lesbians, afraid of the label “homosexual”. Her thesis rests entirely on arguments that sex/gender identity are fixed within the genitals at birth, an essentialist theory that excludes the possibility of transsexuals being a form of intersex, a topic which Raymond never addresses.

The book, while it did not create the transphobic attitude in the lesbian community, did tap into and ‘validated’, at least for the transphobes themselves, the discrimination they practiced. Thus, what began in the ‘70s, occasional attacks on individual transsexual women, became institutionalized discrimination against all transsexuals in the ‘80s.

The Transsexual Empire, was not the most damaging writing that Raymond penned. Far worse was a United States federal government commissioned study in the early 1980’s on the topic of federal aid for transsexual people seeking rehabilitation and health services. This paper, not well publicized, effectively eliminated federal and some states aid for indigent and imprisoned transsexuals. It had a further impact on private health insurance which followed the federal government’s lead in disallowing services to transsexual patients for any treatment remotely related to being transsexual, including breast cancer or genital cancer, as that was deemed to be a consequence of treatment for transsexuality.

Ms. Raymond is closely associated with another noted transphobic writer, Mary Daly, who described transsexuals as “Frankenstien’s Monsters” in her book GynEcology.

Transgender participation continued to be controversial in the Gay & Lesbian Community. Transsexuals taking leadership positions in the community were especially subject to attack.

Ms. Carol Katz was on the Christopher Street West Gay Pride Parade and Festival Committee, serving as Security Coordinator from ‘79 through ‘81. However her position on the board was a controversial one as many gays and especially lesbians objected to the presence of a transsexual. She recruited a number of transgendered people, both FTM and FTM to work as volunteer parade monitors and festival security each year . Her background in law enforcement facilitated greater cooperation between the Committee and local law enforcement organizations, LAPD and the LA County Sheriff’s Department.

In 1980 Ms. Katz was asked to serve as Security Co-ordinator for the “Women Take Back The Night March” in Hollywood. She agreed to help. However… lesbian feminist separatists threatened to boycott the march. Carol offered to step down in the interests of the larger community, with some private bitterness. The Committee accepted her resignation. But at the very last minute, due to overwhelming details in doing the job without her… and perhaps a realization that it was wrong to push her out of her participation… the committee asked her to take back the job the very day of the march. The controversy over Ms. Katz’es leadership role lead to the effective banning of broad transgender community participation in event planning and execution, though transgendered people did march that night .

It should be noted that the memory of the gay & lesbian community is short, as demonstrated by the efforts of the transgender community in Los Angeles to win inclusion in the Parade and Festival in 1995; Transman, Jacob Hale faced a Festival committee that believed transgendered people had never been participants before. The work of the transgendered community in ‘79-’81 had been completely forgotten, erased by the silence of the 1980’s.

In 1991 Nancy Burkholter was ejected from the Michigan Wymyns’ Music Festival at 1:00am by security staff suspicious that she was transsexual. She had done nothing to warrant eviction. She was forced to find transportation back to town to fly home, a holiday trip ruined by transphobia.

Unknown to the transsexuals who had been quietly attending the festival for years was an unpublished policy of the festival organizers that transsexuals were not welcome “on the land”. The policy was written out in the material for the next year that only “Wymyn Born Wymyn” may attend. The language was clearly designed to exclude transsexuals while avoiding debates regarding whether MTF transsexuals were “Wymyn”.

The next year, in 1992 TransActivist Anne Ogborn began organizing a protest to be held at the Festival, unable to go herself, she enlisted Davina Anne Gabrielle to attend. Davina and non-transsexual woman, Janis Hollingsworth handed-out buttons to women reading “I might be transsexual” at a table to enlist festival attendees in a dialog over the transsexual inclusion. Davina was ejected from “the land” in accordance with the written policy.

In 1993, the transgender community pitched CampTrans outside the main entrance. Jessica Xavier, Leslie Feinberg, among others attended to protest the Festivals’ “Wymyn Born Wymyn Only” policy. “Woman Born Transsexual” read a new button worn by CampTrans inmates. At the camp, workshops and concerts were presented as an alternative to the Festival. A number of women came out of the festival to participate in discussions. Notable was the participation of younger lesbians, especially members of The Lesbian Avengers. TransActivist volunteers stood outside the gate taking a poll of the festival attendees attitudes toward transsexual inclusion at the festival. The poll revealed division on the issue, but the majority of the women attending indicated that they would welcome transsexual women.

Participation in CampTrans energized the transgender community to become active once again, after the community’s silent withdrawal from the larger gay & lesbian community the previous decade.

National and local transgender activist worked for months to gain inclusion in the 1993 March On Washington. Transgender volunteers aiding in organizing the March, notably Jessica Xavier, worked with March organizers for months trying to gain inclusion in the name of the March. There was a ‘divide and conquer’ politicking by transphobic gays & lesbians that pitted bisexuals against transgenders. They told the bisexual community members who were also working toward official inclusion that it was either transgender or bisexual, but not both. To their credit the bisexual members did not buy into the ploy. However, the issue of inclusion was still couched in such terms by the foes of transgender inclusion. When the issue was put to a vote by the organizing committee the bisexuals won inclusion easily. The vote for inclusion of transgender was divided. There were actual cheers from the gay and lesbian community when the committee announced their decision to exclude transgender which deeply dismayed the transgender community volunteers.

A new pattern emerged in the mid 1990’s. The generation that had grown up since Stonewall welcomed transgender people without reservation, perhaps even with a tinge of adulation for their contribution to the struggle for Queer Rights. The older generation, those who had struggled just after stonewall, those who had read The Transsexual Empire when it was new, had not changed their minds significantly. Those that had been accepting during the 1970s remained so, those that had been sitting on the fence now came down on transgender inclusion. But those who had adamantly opposed trans-inclusion in the ‘70s still fought against it in the ‘90s. In 1994 The Transsexual Empire was reprinted and used as a textbook in feminist classes once again.

In 1994 CampTrans was pitched again with Riki Anne Wilchins taking a leading role. The turn out was smaller than expected. It was not due to a feeling of failure, but rather a feeling that the issue of transgender inclusion in “wymyn only space” was being by-passed by larger and more important issues.

Also occurring in 1994 was the Gay Games. When transgendered people wished to participate they discovered similar transphobic attitudes that the International Olympic Committee held . The Games organizers refused to allow transgendered people to participate except under very restrictive rules, namely that had to prove that they had had surgery or at least lived two years full time, with hormones, in their gender of identity. Bi-gendered individuals were completely excluded. This reliance on rules that on the surface seem to come direct from the HBIGDA Standards of Care, offended the transgendered community.

Transsexual Menace of New York organized to protest the restrictive and discriminatory rules. In street protests the group held up a banner that read, “Gay Games to transgendered: DROP DEAD!!” The uproar and embarrassment forced the organizers to drop the rules and allow unrestricted participation.

Some gay columnists were calling the events the “transgender Stonewall”, comparing 1994’s protests to ‘the gay riots of 1969’, totally ignoring the historic irony that Stonewall itself was started and fought by transgendered people. This lack of historic recognition sparked another protest in New York, demanding inclusion in planned events to mark 25 years since Stonewall.

In 1994 the issue of discrimination against sexual minorities became the biggest issue. The gay & lesbian community was working towards passing a bill in Congress, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA);. Transgender activists worked with the gay & lesbian community and the bill’s sponsors in Congress on inclusive language for the bill, only to discover that the language was removed before the bill was introduced. When the issue was researched by Phyllis Frye, she discovered that the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) had objected to the language. Once again transphobia in the gay community had resurfaced as betrayal.

The betrayal of the HRC was echoed at the local level. In 1995, transactivists in Oregon worked with gay & lesbian activist with the Right To Privacy Political Action Committee (RTP) for a state version of ENDA. Once again language was changed at the last minute, behind the back of the transgender community. Later, RTP board members denied this fact when charged by transactivists. However, transsexual law student and legislative intern, JoAnna McNamara was in the meetings that were held with RTP and the bill’s sponcors. RTP representitives did not know that Ms. McNamara was transsexual, who later provided information to the local gay press regarding the betrayal.

The transgender community lobbied the HRC and other organizations to amend the language to include transgender and gender variant gay & lesbian protection. Each year saw organizations that had previously supported the bill, drop its support. Each year of the second half of the ‘90s saw organizations officially add transgender to their mission statement. Each year saw what started as inclusive lip service become real support.

In 1998. the Gay Games was held in the Nederlands. Ironically, while transsexual pop singing star Dana International performed at the opening festivities, the transgender community protested the re-instatement of the same restrictive rules that had excluded some transgendered people in New York four years earlier. However, European officials of the Games were unmoved.

In 1999, five years after the disagreement between the HRC and the transgender community over inclusion in ENDA surfaced the controversy continued, one of the bill’s Congressional sponsors, openly gay Representative, Barney Frank, played the “Bathroom Card”, saying that employers will not accept transgender people as employees since they won’t be able to convince their other employees to tolerate transgender people in the restrooms. This was quickly denounced by transgender activists as truly expressing transphobia, though Frank had earlier voiced his concern regarding violence and discrimination against transgender people in the wake of the death of Tyra Hunter, pointing out the irony as the “Shower Card” was used against the gay & lesbian community in its fight to gain the right to serve in the armed forces earlier in the decade .

In 1999, at the close of the 20th Century, the gay & lesbian community was still divided over transgender inclusion. Camp Trans was once again pitched in front of the gate of the Michigan Wimmins’ Music Festival. This time post operative male to female transsexuals were allowed ‘on the land’, but pre-operative MTF women and post-operative FTM men were not. The issue had now come down to possession of a penis. Although they were now allowed on the land, vocal transphobic lesbian separatists menaced transsexual women, while members of The Lesbian Avengers supported them.

At the end of the 20th Century, the Transgender Question in the gay and lesbian community was still unsettled, and unsettling for the majority.

transhistory.org/history/TH_Backlash.html – 2003

Transsexualism: A Guide for Employers

Transsexualism is the most pronounced form of Gender Dysphoria, in which a person experiences such a deep conflict between their physical sex and their mental gender that they have no choice but to embark upon the process of Gender Reassignment. Persons with this condition are likely to have been under a great deal of stress for many years prior to embarking upon treatment. The treatment has a very high success rate (over 97%} in alleviating the person’s suffering and helping them to function better both in society and at work.

The process of Transition (switching into living full-time in the desired gender role) and Gender Reassignment (medical and surgical treatment to alter the body) can be stressful for the person involved, and sympathetic treatment by their employers and colleagues will contribute greatly to successful outcome.

It is common for transsexuals to be diligent and highly motivated employees. Prior to transition, many take refuge from their emotional pain in being ‘workaholics’; after transition a good employee is likely to be better: the process of changing gender role alleviates the stress and pain, but the motivation remains. Gender reassignment does not change the inner person, and there is no need for it to adversely affect workplace relationships.

The Law

This is an area that is currently in a state of change. Historically, transsexuals have had no employment rights and there have been numerous cases of transsexuals being dismissed merely because of their condition. This changed in the spring of 1996 when the European Court of Human Rights ruled, in a test case, that such dismissal constituted a breach of human rights, and thus effectively extended the scope of the Sex Discrimination Act to include discrimination against someone for changing sex within the meaning of discrimination on grounds of sex. The outgoing UK government did not actually amend statute law to reflect this ruling, however Industrial Tribunals began enforcing it (such EC rulings automatically supervene over national law). The Sex Discrimination Act has now been updated by the present government with effect from 1st May 1999, including employment protection for transsexual people — and the government has made a commitment to examining the whole issue of legal rights for transsexuals.

The Transition Process

Before being officially diagnosed, a transsexual will usually have gone through a period of profound introspection, possibly denial, and certainly much emotional torment. The medical diagnosis confirms what the patient has felt, and treatment then commences. The diagnosis is made by a Consultant Psychiatrist with special knowledge of the subject — this Psychiatrist will also oversee the entire reassignment process. This does not mean that transsexualism is a mental illness or a delusion: in fact, quite the opposite. The psychiatrist’s role is to ensure that the patient is sane and really is transsexual, and that they really will be helped by a change of gender role. Recent research has proved that the ‘female brain in a male body’ (or vice- versa for female-to-male transsexuals) is a biological reality, not a fanciful metaphor. Some transsexuals will require a period of counselling before, or in parallel with, the medical treatment – in many cases they will have experienced much emotional pain from their years trapped in the wrong gender role and the wrong physical sex.

Given a reasonably certain diagnosis by the psychiatrist, the patient will commence Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This involves the administration of high doses of hormones appropriate to the target gender: female hormones for male-to-female (MtF) and male hormones for female-to-male (FtM) transsexuals. These cause the body to start changing: MtFs develop breasts, lose muscle mass and body hair and start to look feminine facially, while FtMs become muscular, hairy and masculine and the voice breaks. As well as starting the process of physical change, HRT has a diagnostic function: a person who is not truly transsexual will feel strange and unhappy under the effects of HRT, while a true transsexual will show a marked increase in emotional well-being. This confirms the diagnosis of transsexualism. Once this confirmation takes place, most MtFs commence antiandrogen drugs, which wipe out male hormonal and genital function; as an alternative, some undergo orchidectomy (castration) at this stage or later.

MtF transsexuals also require electrolysis treatment to remove facial hair as HRT does not do this. Neither HRT nor genital surgery will ‘un-break’ a male voice, so speech therapy is often required. During this period the person is likely to start living more and more in their desired gender role, as their appearance changes towards that of their true gender. Once the transsexual and their psychiatrist feel that they are ready, they will ‘transition’ – that is to say, legally change their name and official documents to match the target gender, and start to live and work full-time m that gender role. At this point the person is on ‘Real Life Test’ (RLT); this is a period of at least a year in which the person must demonstrate that they can successfully live in the target gender role before Gender Reassignment Surgery takes place.

Good Practice for Management

There is every reason to believe that a transsexual who has been a good employee before transition will continue to be a good (and usually better) employee afterwards; in many cases the Company will have made a substantial investment in an employee in the form of training and job experience, and hence it is desirable to manage the person’s transition in such a way as to preserve good working relationships all round and to continue to reap the benefits of the person’s work.

The attitudes of the person’s colleagues and management is vitally important. It has been found in many companies that it is worthwhile to convene a meeting to explain to all employees having contact with the transsexual person what is happening and why. Good, accurate information on the condition, presented carefully, can go a long way towards dispelling prejudice and possible hostility in the workplace. Many companies have benefited from calling in a professional or voluntary counsellor with special training in this area, to give a presentation and answer questions. It should be emphasised that it is a medical condition that has been properly diagnosed by a specialist doctor and that the person’s change of gender role at work is a recognised and medically necessary part of their treatment. Having informed the person’s colleagues and chain of management about the situation, it should be made clear that the Company recognises that the transsexual employee has a genuine medical condition and that the Company is fully supporting the employee in their transition. It should be made clear that harassment or discrimination against the person will not be tolerated, and colleagues are expected to treat them with the same respect and courtesy as any other employee of the Company. Once the person has officially transitioned at work, they should always be referred to by their new name and by pronouns appropriate to their new gender role; to wilfully use the old name or pronouns (occasional slips are inevitable at first of course) is very hurtful to the transsexual and should be treated as harassment.

Sympathetic treatment by management is also vital. The person will have to spend much time undergoing various treatments (especially electrolysis for MtFs, which may take hundreds of hours in total), and while an employer cannot realistically be expected to grant paid leave for all of this, a sympathetic approach (such as allowing some degree of flexible-hours working, or perhaps unpaid leave) will be beneficial. Of course for strictly medical treatments such as checkup visits and surgery, the patient should be granted sick leave and sick pay under the same rules as for any other medical condition.

The timing of the transition will be as nominated by the employee in consultation with the medical specialist(s) supervising their treatment. Provided that reasonable notice is given, the employer should not attempt to block or delay the transition, as that can be positively harmful to the transsexual. A reasonable period of notice will allow the company to change records and inform other staff of the impending change before it actually happens.

The Company should provide appropriate recognition of the legal name change, when the transition at work occurs, in the form of changing payroll records, computer logins, staff lists and so on to reflect the new name. The person should always be referred to by pronouns appropriate to the new gender (i.e. ‘she’ for an MtF).

No guide to transsexualism in the workplace would be complete without a discussion on the issue of toilets. There is absolutely no reason why a transsexual employee should not use the toilets appropriate to their new gender, once official transition has occurred – in other words, prior to surgery. To force a pre-operative MtF to use the male toilets despite living as, and looking like, a woman is cruel and discriminatory. Of course it would be wise to reassure the female employees that the person is, psychologically speaking, a woman, and that as a result of the hormone treatment could not possibly pose a hazard of sexual impropriety. The fact that she still has male genitals is not relevant as they would only be exposed inside a toilet cubicle.

It goes without saying, of course, that in return for sympathetic treatment of the transsexual employee, the employer has a right to expect the employee to continue to work to the best of their ability and to conduct themselves with appropriate professionalism and dignity, and to dress and present themselves in an appropriate manner for their job – and not to wilfully do anything that might cause unnecessary embarrassment to the Company.

It should perhaps be pointed out at this point that MtF transsexuals undergoing electrolysis for the removal of facial hair will have to grow some ‘stubble’ for one to three days prior to each treatment. If the employee is not in a public-facing role, then this should simply be recognised as a necessary part of the treatment (and not as untidiness or wilful gender-mixing). If the employee is in a public-facing role then it might be necessary for her to restrict her electrolysis to Monday mornings so that the stubble only appears at the weekend, or maybe to delay transition until the facial hair is less obvious. In such cases the situation should be discussed with the employee’s counsellor or psychiatrist: it is not acceptable for a company to attempt to delay or prevent a medically necessary gender transition, and usually an acceptable compromise can be found. In some cases, transsexual staff have been temporarily transferred to less public-facing roles (with their consent of course) until their physical presentation is more ‘passable’. Counsellors and Psychiatrists treating transsexual patients are generally very willing to provide guidance and advice to employers, as well as specific advice regarding individual situations (subject, of course, to the patient’s consent to being discussed).

The following is a suggested draft Company Policy which embodies the recommended ‘best practice’ set out in this document and may be adopted ‘as it stands’ or used as a basis for the Company’s own policy towards transsexualism in the workplace.

Company Policy on Transsexual Employees

The Company recognises that Transsexualism (a form of Gender Dysphoria) is a genuine medical condition. Staff with this condition will be afforded the same treatment and support by the Company as if they suffered from any other treatable medical condition.

Transsexual staff are entitled to be treated with respect and permitted to perform their ,jobs free from harassment and discrimination. The Company views harassment or discrimination against any employee, on any grounds, as a serious disciplinary offence.

The Company recognises the right of the transsexual employee to work, and to present themselves at work, as a member of their new gender as soon as the official transition and legal name-change occur.

Once official transition to the new gender role has taken place, the Company expects all its staff to treat the transsexual employee in a manner appropriate to their new gender and to address them, and refer to them, by their new name and appropriate pronouns.

Once official transition has taken place, the transsexual employee will be permitted to use the lavatory facilities appropriate to their new gender.

The Company will provide appropriate recognition of the legal name change, when the transition at work occurs, in the form of changing payroll records, computer logins, staff lists and so on to reflect the new name and gender.

This information sheet is based on the paper Transsexualism : Notes for Employers published by The Looking Glass Society in June 1997.

This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust, with thanks to The Looking Glass Society, and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

The Gender Trust publishes a book Transsexuality in the Workplace – A Guide for Employers by Julie Denning available priced £2.50.

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

The Rights of Man, Woman and Transsexual

The authors are in the employment department at Bates Wells & Braithwaite. Copyright 2001 Times Newspapers Ltd. 30th January 2001

Employers are disturbingly ignorant of sex change issues, say . With 5,000 transsexuals in Britain, issues about gender reassignment are arising within the workplace with increasing regularity. Several employers have sought advice from us in the past year about the treatment of employees undergoing gender reassignment. Although few cases about transsexuals have been reported, it is clear from the output of the Equal Opportunities Commission that many cases are being brought, and often settled. But there appears to be a disturbing ignorance among employers about the legal protection of transsexuals and good equal opportunities practice.

In 1996 the European Court of Justice held, in the case of P v S and Cornwall County Council, that the dismissal of an employee because she was starting gender reassignment was unfair and contrary to the European Equal Treatment Directive. As a result, the Sex Discrimination (Gender Reassignment) Regulations 1999 were brought into force. They amended the Sex Discrimination Act 1975 to extend protection in employment and vocational training to anyone who ‘intends to undergo, is undergoing or has undergone gender reassignment’.

Gender reassignment is defined as ‘a process undertaken under medical supervision for the purpose of reassigning a person_s sex by changing physiological or other characteristics of sex and includes any part of such a process’. There is no definition of ‘intends’ within the regulations but clearly more than cross-dressing is envisaged (although individual freedom of expression by way of dress is now to some extent protected by the Human Rights Act 1998). The category of individuals protected is wide, with no differentiation between pre and post-operative transsexuals.

Less favourable treatment of a transsexual is permissible in limited circumstances: where the job requires performance of intimate physical searches or doing work or living in a private home where objection may reasonably be taken by the individual to this degree of intimacy and contact. These genuine occupational qualifications are applicable at all stages of the gender reassignment process.

There are two further exceptional circumstances: where it is necessary for the employee to live in shared accommodation, or where personal services are being provided to vulnerable individuals ‘and in the reasonable view of the employer those services cannot be effectively provided by a person whilst that person is undergoing gender reassignment’. However, these two genuine occupational qualifications do not apply to individuals who have undergone gender reassignment.

There is thus, evidently, potential for difficulty with, for example, a care worker who has completed the process of changing but by whom an elderly client does not wish to be cared because the client is aware of the transsexuality. A refusal to provide work would amount to discrimination. Employers and prospective employers should bear in mind that tribunals are able to draw the inference of discrimination from the very fact of less favourable treatment.

It is often practical issues that cause difficulties at work. In particular, there is the question of which lavatory a transsexual should use. The answer is straightforward: whichever he or she prefers to use. If this preference causes embarrassment among staff, the employer must attempt to inculcate a more enlightened attitude. A last resort may be to agree with the transsexual that a lavatory be designated as unisex (this should preferably not be the same as the disabled facility).

This course of action was approved by an employment tribunal in the 1999 case of Bourne v Roberts & the Post Office. Equally, employers are often concerned about when other employees should be informed about a change of gender. All that is required is agreement on a timescale and to be flexible. Again, it should be borne in mind that the legislation encompasses the whole process from the stage of intention onwards. Personnel records should be updated at an appropriate point, and any references to previous gender removed (save if required for specific and legitimate purposes, such as insurance or pension records). It is an anomaly at present that transsexuals are unable to alter their birth certificates to reflect a change in sex.

The regulations do not address the question of discrimination in areas other than employment, such as education and access to goods, facilities and services. However, it is recognised that domestic legislation is inadequate and is likely to be expanded. Last May a case brought by a transsexual, Lisa Jones, against a landlord who asked her to stay away from his pub in Honley, near Huddersfield, settled for £1,000 compensation plus a £600 contribution towards costs. We can expect more such cases in future.

By Lucy McLynn and William Garnett

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

Frequently Asked Questions about Transsexuality

Most of us are perfectly comfortable with the fact that we are male or female. In fact we normally never give it a thought. But there are a very few people who feel they were born with the wrong body – men who feel they should have been born women and vice versa. These people suffer from a recognised medical condition known as gender dysphoria and are generally referred to as transsexual.

Because transsexual people are born with bodies that seem perfectly normal to other people, we may suspect that the source of these deep seated feelings about the body arises from the brain. A report from the Netherlands Institute for Brain Research confirms this theory. In examining the brains of many individuals, including homosexual men, heterosexual men and women and six male-to-female transsexuals, they found that a tiny region known as the central region of the bed nucleus of the stria terininalis (BSTc), which is believed to be responsible for gender identity, was larger in men than in women. The BSTc of the six transsexuals was as small as that of women, thus the brains of the transsexuals seem to coincide with their conviction that they are women.

The rate of occurrence of transsexuality is not accurately known. Because of the social stigma attached to being transsexual, arising from a widespread lack of awareness of the true nature of the condition, it is something that is often kept hidden. Therefore it is only possible to collect statistics on the numbers of declared transsexuals and such figures undoubtedly represent only a proportion of those affected. Not very long ago estimates of the rate of occurrence of male-to-female transsexuality might have been around 1 in 100,000 of the male population. Today, with the greater awareness and openness that exists, some estimates now put the figure at greater than 1 in 10,000. It is known that other chromosomal or intersexed conditions can have rates of occurrence of, or approaching, 1 in 1,000 of the population and it may well be that this is the true order of magnitude of transsexuality.

Rates of occurrence of known female-to-male transsexuals are significantly lower, typically being around 1/3 to 1/4 of the rate for male-to-female transsexuals. However, this rate has varied somewhat with time and between different parts of the world. This suggests that varying cultural factors might play a role in the decision to be open about the condition.

The currently accepted and effective model of treatment for the condition of transsexuality utilises hormone therapy and surgical reconstruction and may include counselling and other psychotherapeutic approaches. Speech therapy and facial surgery may be appropriate for some male to females, and most will need electrolysis to remove beard growth and other body hair. In all cases, the length and kind of treatment provided will depend on the individual needs of the patient. The male to female will take a course of female hormones (oestrogen) similar to those used in the contraceptive pill and HRT, the female to male will take the male hormone testosterone.

At this time they will also be required to carry out the Real Life Test, during which they will be required to legally change their name and all documents to show their new gender identity. All documents including passport, driving licence, medical card, etc can be changed, but at present it is not possible for UK citizens to change their birth certificate. During the Real Life Test they will also be expected to live, work and socialise full time in the new gender role, to deal with any problems which may arise for example at work or within the family, and generally become familiar with the reality of living this way. After a minimum of a year (two years if being treated via the NHS) if the Real Life Test has been successful and the psychiatrist is satisfied with the person’s progress, they can be referred for surgery. After surgery the person will continue to take hormones for the rest of their life, but probably at a reduced dosage.

Because the BSTc is so small none of the non-invasive imaging techniques currently available can measure it, it cannot be detected through scans, X-rays of blood tests. Diagnosis is carried out through lengthy and in-depth assessment by a specialist consultant psychiatrist, however it is important to understand that gender dysphoria is not a psychiatric condition, nor is it a mental disorder.

In a male to female transsexual person, the effects of feminising hormones vary greatly from patient to patient but most patients experience noticeable changes within 2-3 months, with irreversible effects after as little as 6 months.

The main effects of feminising hormones are as follows:

1) Fertility and ‘male’ sex drive drop rapidly, erections become infrequent or unobtainable and this may become permanent after a few months.

2) Breasts develop, the nipples expand and the areolae darken to some extent, but typical final breast size is usually somewhat smaller than that of close female relatives.

3) Body and facial fat is redistributed. The face becomes more typically feminine, with fuller cheeks and less angularity. In the longer term, fat tends to migrate away from the waist and be re-deposited at the hips and buttocks, giving a more feminine figure.

4) Body hair growth often reduces and body hair may lighten in both texture and colour. There is seldom any major effect on facial hair, although if the patient is undergoing electrolysis, hormone treatment does noticeably reduce the strength and amount of re-growth. Scalp hair often improves in texture and thickness, and male pattern baldness generally stops progressing.

5) Many people report sensory and emotional changes: heightened senses of touch and smell are common, along with generally feeling more ’emotional’. Mood swings are common for a while following commencement of hormone therapy or any change in the regime.

In the female to male transsexual, where biological females are prescribed androgens, changes include:

1) A permanent deepening of the voice, this usually occurs within four months and is irreversible.

2) Permanent clitoral enlargement occurs.

3) Some breast atrophy, but at this stage it is usual to bind the breasts.

4) There is cessation of menstruation within three to six months

5) Increased strength and weight gain particularly around the waist and upper body with decreased hip fat. With exercise this can take the form of muscular development. Testosterone will not alter height or bone structure.

6) Growth of facial and body hair is likely to follow the pattern of hair growth inherent in the family, for example if other male members of the patient’s family have a tendency to baldness or if they do not have a great deal of body hair this is what can be expected with hormone treatment.

7) Increased social and sexual interest and arousability may occur and there may also be heightened feelings of aggression.

The most frequent form of surgery for male to female patients is known as penile inversion. When carried out by a skilled and experienced gender surgeon the results look almost indistinguishable from the external genitals of a natal woman. The transsexual women, however, does not have ovaries and a womb, is not able to conceive and does not have monthly periods. During the operation tissue and skin from the penis and scrotum is relocated to form a vagina and clitoris. Following surgery the patient will need to keep the newly formed vagina from closing up by performing regular dilation.

In the female to male, surgery is often carried out in stages, and the first stage is usually removal of the breasts with a bilateral mastectomy during which the nipples are preserved but may need to be reduced in size. The next stage is usually hysterectomy and oophorectomy to remove uterus and ovaries. Both these stages are commonly performed operations and can be carried out by any competent surgeon who does not necessarily need experience of gender reassignment surgery. Further stages are more specialised and involve metaidoioplasty for construction of a microphallus by surgically releasing the enlarged clitoris, or possibly phalloplasty which is construction of a penis. There are various techniques in use for phalloplasty, but as yet there is no method which can produce a totally realistic and fully functioning penis. Scrotoplasty may be carried out at the same time, or separately, to create a scrotum from the labia and silicone implants.

There is no evidence of any genetic link to the condition of gender dysphoria and therefore it is not something that is known to be passed down through generations of the same family. Nobody knows exactly what causes the condition, although there are various theories that consider a possible link between hormone disturbance in the mother during the first weeks of pregnancy or other interruptions to the normal course of pregnancy while the foetus is at a critical point of development.Is this Person a Man or a Woman?

In this example let us look at the male to female transsexual person. Gender dysphoria occurs when the person believes themselves to be a woman, their brain knows them to be a woman, even though their physical body may be that of a man. The only ‘cure’ for gender dysphoria is to change the body to match the brain. Therefore after surgery both brain and body are those of a woman. This person is in all respects a woman, even her passport will show this. It is therefore extremely painful for such a person to be addressed as ‘him’ or ‘Mr’. Having gone through so much to find a sense of inner peace in their true gender role, they should rightly expect to be treated as the woman they know themselves to be.

Even after hormone treatment and surgery, a transsexual male to female, may still retain certain male physical characteristics. These may include a voice that is unusually deep for a woman, or they may be very tall, or have large, hands and feet and heavy bones, particularly in the jaw and brow area of the face. They may have a receding hairline and need to wear a wig. When you meet this person for the first time you may feel shocked, uncomfortable or uncertain how to treat them. Hopefully you will understand that this is a medical condition for which the person is receiving treatment from highly qualified doctors and consultants, that they have been carefully assessed and diagnosed, and in many cases their treatment has been carried out under the National Health Service. If you think of it in this way you will find it easier to accept that this is a genuine and serious situation. If you are willing to accept this person for who they are, you will be helping them to adjust to a very difficult life challenge, and you may find you are making a very good and loyal friend.

What is the Difference Between Transvestite and Transsexual?

The differences are very distinct between a person who cross dresses and someone whose brain is telling them they belong to the opposite gender role. The transvestite may just cross dress occasionally, or may enjoy dressing regularly either in the privacy of their own home or to socialise. Some live full time in female clothes, but they always retain their core identity of themselves as male and will not want to consider gender surgery. Generally TVs who are “out” are sociable and may attract a lot of attention, they may enjoy wearing outrageous or fetish outfits and spend a lot of time involved with their clothes and appearance. It has often been observed that TVs tend to be heterosexual males while drag queens and female impersonators are often gay men. Although transsexual people are often very concerned about their dress and appearance, this is not the driving force behind their cross dressing. For the transsexual person clothes are an expression of their core female identity and many strive to blend in by studying how women of their age and background dress and learning how to tailor their appearance and mannerisms to attract as little attention as possible.

The above is a general guideline, but this is far from being a black and white issue and most cross dressers would place themselves somewhere on a gradient between the outrageous female impersonator at one extreme and the totally integrated post operative transsexual at the other. Many people who later go on to complete full gender reassignment begin the search for their true identity within the transvestite community, perhaps this is the only obvious and safe place where they feel they can cross dress. Also there are very few social groups where transsexual people meet, so those who enjoy socialising may be attracted to transvestite clubs. Many individuals feel very confused about their true gender identity, so how can an outsider be expected to judge whether a person is TV or TS when that person themselves does not know – or cannot accept – where their true identity lies and is therefore not giving out any clear signals about themself.

Long before they begin medical treatment, in fact often long before they even realise what is happening within them, most transsexual people will already show signs of thinking and behaving in ways more usual to the sex opposite to that of their physical appearance. They will frequently recall knowing from childhood that they were in some way “different” and it is usual for a transsexual woman to remember dressing in the clothes of a mother or sister, having a dislike for traditional boys’ toys and games, and feeling more comfortable in the company of girls.

Because of social pressures, particularly on young men, many transsexual people enter a period of denial in their late teens, in which they try to suppress any thoughts or feelings to do with their gender identity. For example it is common for a male to female to take up a typically male profession such as the armed forces, police, engineering, lorry driving, and also to marry and have children. They tell themselves that this proves they cannot possibly be a woman. At this time of their life they may also absorb themselves totally in a career – often becoming very successful – or in some form of sport or hobby which occupies all their spare time. Some may continue to cross dress.

But in time the stress begins to build until the person no longer feels able to keep this thing hidden and they need to seek help and medical treatment. When the gender dysphoria has been suppressed in this way for many years, the person may have developed other problems such as severe depression or a dependence on alcohol or drugs, and this will also need to be dealt with, along with any commitments to family responsibilities. There may be a break with wife, children and siblings, a change of career, loss of home, money and security, so the road to gender transition is an extremely difficult and often painful one.

Transsexual people often reveal themselves to be extremely isolated individuals, some people never make it through transition. Those who do have to find a lot of inner strength and determination to keep going. During transition these people need the support and understanding of friends and family as well as work colleagues and society in general. After surgery it is common for many people to melt away into society, living a normal life and often nobody guesses what they have been through. However the scars created by the pain of living with gender dysphoria for many years may remain and make it difficult for them to settle into an ordinary lifestyle.

Transsexual people are just ordinary people who experience all the challenges and problems that everyone has to deal with. Some are optimistic and cheerful, some slip easily into depression, some are determined, some are fragile, some make friends easily, some find socialising difficult. They are people like everyone else – they also suffer from a condition called gender dysphoria.

Understand what is happening, and accept the person for who they truly are – this is often all a transsexual person wants from you. Try to offer encouragement and support. Imagine how you would feel if it was you – take a moment to try and imagine how you would feel if you woke up tomorrow morning to find your body had become the opposite gender.

After all it could easily have been you who was born with this medical condition, nobody knows exactly what causes it but the dysphoria is believed to occur in an unborn baby during the first three months of the mother’s pregnancy. Someone who has already been through so much does not need to be victimised and taunted, humorous remarks, clever comments and other subtle ways of intimidation can cause intense pain. Also remember it is now against the law to discriminate against someone because they are transsexual.

Gender Trust – 2003

My Facial Feminisation Surgery

Smoakie Bulle Just after midnight on New Year’s Eve 2000, six months or so ago, my friends and myself were invited into a house across the road from where I live to join a party. It was one of those only- on-New-Year’s-Eve-with-a-skinful-occasions, and when I went in I was treated as the bloke across the road in a frock. It was he and him without cease – they just saw me as male, unbelievably, and I began this year deep in yet more of those unending tears back at my flat. Will this never end, I said, is there no way out of this? After all I have done, after living well as a woman for all this time, rarely read, or so I thought, after Sex Reassignment Surgery, after thousands of little white oestrogen pills, with a skin like a baby, a girl at last and happy and well in my world? After all I’ve been through, and it means nothing?

Right, I said to my partner, gritting my teeth yet again, this is it. I’ve had enough, I won’t live with this. I’m going to have my face fixed this year no matter what. You see, I knew what it was these people were seeing, what it was in me that made them see the old maleness; it was in the structures of the bones of my face, and this is what I decided had to be changed. In for a penny, in for a pound, that’s my way. I forgot how to spell kompromize a long time ago. Why stop before the end? Why not the best?

I stumbled on the Anne Lawrence website (annelawrence.com/twr) years ago, and with its links it has led me through many a maze, and it was here that I learned of Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS). Go and look for yourself, and what you will find is a revelation. Once you see it, it’s obvious, and male and female faces are never the same again. It all comes down to hormones again, that demon testosterone and the ravages it had on our bodies and minds.

In late adolescence, boys turn into young men. I’ve watched this happen to my son, who is now eighteen. The bones change, and what makes a man a man, and brings a woman like myself a life behind a mask, is the creation of, from the top down;

The brow ridge, and brow bossing. For me, the most significant of all. Like many results of the work of testosterone, my browridge formed almost a hood over my eyes. The line of the forehead in profile came down, then out just before the eyes, then right in. Oestrogen does not make this happen, and the brow in natal women remains the same as in children, where the line of the forehead comes straight down, leaving the eyes more open and unhooded. As we first look at the eyes when we meet someone, this subconscious marker of gender is highly significant.

The nose in the natal female is often smaller, narrower, less significant; the testosterone nose wider, more powerful a presence.

The prominence of the chin and the line of the jaw. This is more well-known. The female chin comes more to a point, it is rounded and is slighter in profile; it doesn’t stick out so much. The testosterone jaw is often wider, coming to strong angled points below the ears.

Of course, faces come in billions of forms, none of them the same, and masculinity and femininity shows in other ways on the face, but the main markers of maleness and femaleness are consistent. Freud said that the first point of recognition when we meet a person is that of gender; is this a male or a female? The rest of identity follows, is built on this. The subconscious indicators of gender come in the form of dress and body language, ways of moving, ways of dressing, the skin, the voice, the way we speak, the way the person feels to us; on and on. Many of these we can work at and change, but the bone structures of the face, the frame upon which the skin hangs, can only be changed by surgery, and this is what we look at first, this is what sets the tone for all that folows.

If you look on the Net, you will mostly see the work of Dr Ousterhout in San Francisco. The results of this surgery can be astonishing; craggy male faces turned into attractive women’s. For some, a life which would be unbearable becomes a joy.

No wonder so many transsexual women don’t mind what Dr Ousterhout charges; anything to get me out of this! When I contacted some of the women who had put their results up on the Internet, I was told of Ousterhout’s costs, and my heart sank. Around $28,000. Plus two trips to San Franscisco. It comes to around £20,000. A great surgeon, no doubt, but way too expensive for me.

So I looked for alternatives. This was not so easy. What I was looking for specifically was a cranio-maxillary-aesthetic surgeon with experience of transforming the transsexual face at a good price. I needed a surgeon who works with the bone structures of the face, with empathy and understanding of who and what I am, and these guys hardly come on every street corner.

Still, with determination I found one, not advertised at all, tucked off in a corner of Belgium. Dear Dr Noorman van der Dussen. I went to see him in February, loved him, and had extensive facial surgery at the Eeufeestkliniek in Antwerp on April 18th. Not bad, eh? Less than four months from New Year’s Eve and it was all done.

I had my brow ridge removed; Dr Noorman van der Dussen (all of this is his surname, let’s call him Dr NvvD) told me afterwards that he had removed about 1 centimetre of bone from over my eyes. A centimetre! Usually these things are done in millimetres. I had a lot to lose.

My nose, which was always slender, had its upturned, ski-jump end removed. My upper lip was enhanced. My chin was narrowed, taken back, the angle changed, and the jaw line altered to fit. Seven hours on the operating table; not a small thing to do.

I left the clinic the day after surgery and went to a hotel, amazingly, but it was fine. As Dr NvvD said, all you need is comfort to recover, better and cheaper in a hotel. I had two days of great discomfort, but almost no pain at all, thank God. How lovely I looked; bandages over the scalp, right round the jaw, my nose in a plastic cover taped to my face, one eye closed completely and the colour of a red fruit, the other open a crack, gorgeous colours everywhere, looking like a creature from a strange part of the universe in Star Wars.

But recovery was swift. Five days after surgery I was out in the Belgian countryside with the friend who came with me – bless you Jane, where would I be without you? – and a new transsexual friend I made in the hotel, enjoying pancakes and coffee. Avoid the tea; this is not England. I had on so much covering make-up I could hardly lift my head, and there was swelling in plenty which made me look a little odd, but I made it.

Then I was back home less than a week after surgery, feeling tired and full of anaesthetic, but not too bad. No signs of surgery at all. Incisions were made behind the hairline for the forehead, inside the mouth for the chin and jaw. It was like a miracle had happened.

It took a few weeks for the whole thing to settle in properly, but it did, and now I am fine. But the test of the pudding is in the eating, and the test of FFS is not only in the looking, but in how I feel, the most important thing of all. And what I have to tell you is that I am very happy. It’s made all the difference in the world. When my friends look at me, they still see Persia. It’s not as if I have another face; what’s happened is that my own face has been softened and opened. It has been feminized. The work is subtle and very well done, integral, looking so natural that many people have no idea anything has been done at all. You are looking well, Persia, they say, not knowing what they are seeing.

The greatest effect can be seen in profile. All the prominent angles of my face have been removed. The overhanging brow, the ski-jump nose, the angular chin, all replaced with softness. I love it. I now have none of the indicators of the male on my face. I have always felt that the transsexual transition was, for me, a restoration of my own true being, and now I have even restored my own face. It is no longer the face of a brother I never had.

And I feel completely relaxed now. I am seen as a woman now, almost completely, except for on one of those bad days when nothing goes well. I am what I am, a transsexual woman, and there will always be someone somewhere who knows. But so little, so rarely that I no longer care.

The feelings of this cannot be expressed better than in the words of anon (name witheld by request), who underwent FFS at the hands of Dr. DouglasOusterhout in San Francisco, but the same is true of Dr Noorman van der Dussen, and anon expresses my own feelings with a beauty I cannot hope to match.

” When I went out before my surgery, no amount of radiated joy and peace would have kept me from being perceived oddly by some. I’m not talking about passing here, I’m talking about how, as a human being, people saw me. I want people to see *me* clearly, not through the filter of doubt about who I might be. Even as happy and upbeat as I was prior to surgery with Doug, the lines and curves in my face that didn’t belong to me abraded my confidence, were as wrong as a lock of hair that stands away from your scalp that no amount of coaxing can keep down.

I am sure that if Doug’s work did not exist, I would have made the best of it, but I suspect that as much happiness as I would have mined out of life, the difference between who I am and who my face said I was would have eaten away at me. Who knows.

Results aside, it allows me to not simply move through the world and society — the best I could hope for beforehand — but to actively embrace it, to find a peace within myself, or the possibility for it, that others see and perceive. It is a wonderful resonant cycle as the relaxed comfort in my own skin radiates from me to others, who in turn sense my centeredness and reflect happiness back at me.

It’s how I feel too. Undergoing this surgery has let me cross the line into my own womanhood in a way I could not quite manage before, no matter how well I did, how good I looked, and even then I could go to the women only sessions at the swimming pool and feel almost at ease. Now I am completely relaxed, found myself chatting to other women in the showers while we waited for one to be free the other day without me noticing what I was doing – an amazing feat of transformation when I think back to my early days.

There is a form of trasngendered political correctness in the USA these days which states that we should be accepted as we are, no matter how we are, this being our truth, this being one form of human existence the world needs to accept as another normalcy. We should be proud of who we are, no matter how we look.

Very good, but my own truth is that I am just a simple girl from Liverpool who wants to live without problem in this world; more than that, to live here with joy. I was like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz – but I wanted to come home even more than she did. And I’ve made it, I’m back in Kansas, back in Brighton actually, just living in the world but now with restored exquisite normalcy. I am a very happy and fulfilled person, and my life is opening like a flower. What I have done, despite having no money to speak of, you can do too. Go for it.

The cost of the surgery with Dr Noorman van der Dussen, by the way, came to around £6,500. Not cheap, but a bargain in British or U.S. surgical terms. About a third of the cost here, if you could find the surgeon, and I don’t think he or she exists. I had SRS in Belgium too, under the kind knife of Dr. Seghers, a complete coincidence, so I know about Belgian medicine. It’s very good indeed, recommended.

By Persia West June 2001

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

 

Transsexuals’ Children

Continuing contact between transsexual parents and their children has met with significant opposition. Two areas of concern are effects on the gender identity of the children and reactions by the children’s peer group. Eighteen children, 10 boys, 8 girls of 9 transsexual parents, have been evaluated. Their ages range from 5-16 years. All live with or have regular contact with their transsexual parent. No child has gender identity disorder. No child has had extensive conflict with the peer group. All continue positive relationships with their transsexual parent.

Introduction

In 1978 I published a paper on sexually atypical and gender atypical parents and their children (Green 1978). It described 21 children being raised by lesbian mothers and 16 by transsexual parents. Since that paper 20 years ago, none other has been published describing a series of children of transsexuals. This absence explains why that report was cited as a stand alone in the case brought by a female-to-male transsexual in his recent fight for parental status before the European Court of Human Rights (Case of X, Y and Z v United Kingdom, 1997).

Opposition is strong to a transsexual continuing in a parenting role during or after gender transition. It derives in part from concerns that the children will become confused in their own gender identity during critical years of psychosexual development. Although to those concerned about this posited impact no developmental period is safe harbour, the first handful of years are seen as exceptionally vulnerable. This is during the setting of basic gender identity and resolution of the posited Oedipal conflict. Early adolescence when sexual orientation manifests strongly, perhaps reviving earlier Oedipal conflicts, is another arguably vulnerable period. The second focus of concern impacting on the best interests of these children is the reaction of their age mates, the peer group. Will the children be teased, ostracised, bullied in consequence of their parent’s transsexualism?

But, beyond these presumably empirically testable concerns, there is more. There are the feelings of betrayal, abandonment and hostility of the non-transsexual parent. Many are so enraged at the transsexual parent that they defiantly oppose any contact with the child. As custodial parent, some non-transsexual parents instil in the child a distorted, negative image of the absent (or rarely present) transsexual parent, the Parental Alienation Syndrome (Gardner 1978). In time, the child, too, opposes continuing or renewed contact. The concern to courts here is that the conflict and trauma imposed on the child of enforcing contact with one parent when the other is implacably opposed, and perhaps the child too is opposed, is greater than terminating contact.

Are the former noted issues concerning the children’s gender identity and peer group reaction to be considered as independent of the latter consideration of uncompromising parental opposition? They should not be. To the extent research demonstrates the absence of an objective basis for concern for the child’s welfare as a direct effect of the transsexual status of one parent, the other parent’s opposition becomes increasingly irrational. It should be given less legal weight on the scales of justice in judicial determinations.

During the past four years I have interviewed transsexual parents at Charing Cross Hospital in London. Many have not seen their children for years. Several abdicated their parenting role because they feared their transsexualism would be harmful to the child, others because their former spouse had been adamantly opposed to contact and the transsexual believed that a legal fight was hopeless. There have been other families, however, where the transsexual parent has continued to live with child(ren) and spouse during the gender transition of the “Rea.l Life Test” or has maintained frequent parenting contact, though living apart. An outline of these children is drawn here.

There are 18 children. They are from 9 families, with 10 children boys and 8 girls. Six transsexual parents are male-to-female, three are female-to-male. The children’s age range is 5-16 years, with 4 ages 5-7, 6 ages 8-10, 4 ages 11-13 and 4 ages 14-16. The frequency distribution is shown in Table l.

Areas of focus in interviewing these children and parents have been the two typically cited as potentially problematic for the children: their own gender identity and peer group stigma.

Gender Identity

None of the children meet the DSM IV or ICD 10 criteria for “gender identity disorder”. One boy and one girl had thoughts about changing sex briefly when informed of the transsexualism of the parent, but the curiosity did not evolve into a desire to change sex and the curiosity did not continue. No clinically significant cross-gender behaviour is reported.

Peer Group

Three children have been selective in informing peers of the transsexual status of their parent. They informed those whom they thought they could trust with the information and who would not tease or spread it indiscriminately. Three children experienced some teasing; it was transient and resolved. The remainder report no problems.

Understanding the Parent

Three children do not remember their parent in the parent’s birth sex. The others became aware of the transsexual status 1-3 years before my interview. The children have a reasonable understanding of the parent’s gender dysphoria and the treatment process. Some examples of their perceptions of their parents follow:-

Seven year old boy with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

“Linda. wants to be a woman. Linda wants to start a fresh life. She likes living as a woman. I think that is happy for her. At first (when I was 4’/2) I didn’t quite understand. As I got older, I realized she must be happy living as a woman, so I’ll just accept that.”

Does Linda have a penis?

“She is going to have it taken off.”

What is your worry?

“The thing I worry about is if he gets injections that the wrong amount would be given and something would go wrong… Is there a chance he could die in the operation?”

Nine year old boy with female-to-male transsexual parent (mother):

“She will change into a man with plastic surgery.”

Why?

“My dad (biological mother) reckons that God had made a mistake when he was born.”

Seven year old girl with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

Why does your daddy dress as a lady?

“It’s a better life.”

Sixteen year oId boy with female-to-male transsezual parent (mother):

“Jim is a bloke. The only thing missing is a dick.”

Ten year old boy with male-to-female transsexual parent (father):

How do you feel about it?

“It’s alright.”

Why is your daddy doing this?

“He does not like being a man.”

Eleven year old sister:

“My dad’s having a sex change. He is turning into a woman.

Why?

“He feels like a woman”

How do you feel about it?

“I feel OK about it.”

Fourteen year old daughter with female-to-male transsexual parent (mother):

“My Mother’s not happy in the body she is in. My mom is a lot happier since starting to live as who she wants to be. When I was 13, my mother said, ‘I want to be a man, do you care?’

I said, no, as long a you are the same person inside and still love me. I don’t care what you are on the outside… It’s like a chocolate bar, It’s got a new wrapper but it’s the same chocolate inside.”

Ten year old brother:

“Jim (mother) is my dad because he is having a sex change. It’s alright with me. If it makes Jim happy, it makes me happy.”

Conclusion

Available evidence does not support concerns that a parent’s transsexualism directly adversely impacts on the children. By contrast, there is extensive clinical experience showing the detriment to children in consequence of terminated contact with a parent after divorce.

Can anything be done to help maintain these families? Courts can be educated regarding clinical or research findings. Transsexual parents may profit from engaging with children in counselling sessions in anticipation of, or during, the gender transition process where concerns and questions can be addressed. Marital counselling early in the transition process could mitigate the hostility of the non-transsexual parent. Hopefully, the non-transsexual parent’s feelings of disappointment, loss and perhaps anger can be placed in perspective to the benefit children derive from contact with two parents. Children can also benefit from counselling, when troubled, after parent sex reassignment (Sales, 1995)

The cases described here and twenty years earlier demonstrate that transsexual parents can remain effective parents and that children can understand and empathise with their transsexual parent. The cases demonstrate that gender identity confusion does not occur and that any teasing is no more a problem than the teasing children get for a myriad of reasons.

Children’s best interests are not served by the bullying tactic of implacable parental opposition by one parent to continuing contact with both parents. Divorce may be inevitable between parent and parent, but divorce need not be inevitable between parent and child.

References

Case of X, Y and Z v United Kingdom (75/1995/581/667), European Court of Human Rights, Strasbourg, 1997.

Gardner, R (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition. Cresskill, New Jersey, Creative Therapeutics.

Green,R (1978). Sexual identity of thirty-seven children raised by homosexual or transsexual parents. American Journal of Psychiatry 135: 692-697.

Sales, J. (1995). Children of a transsexual father: a successful intervention. European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 4:136-139.

Table 1

Transsexual Type | Number of Sons | Ages | Number of Daughters | Ages

M-F | 1 | 7 | – | –

F-M | 1 | 16 | 2 | 14, 12

M-F | – | – | 2 | 5, 7

M-F | 1 | 10 | 1 | 12

F-M | 2 | 8, 10 | – | –

F-M | 1 | 10 | 1 | 14

M-F | 2 | 9, 12 | – | –

M-F | 2 | 10, 13 | 1 | 16

M-F | – | – | 1 | 5

A Research Paper by Professor Richard Green

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

Rich Man, Poor Man, Transsexual Woman

Summer 1955 and this child’s fate has already been determined by nature.

A child giggles whilst drinking the bath water from an egg cup. It is 1955 and not long since the national press have reported the story of a Spitfire pilot and racing driver who has “become” a woman through what we now call Gender Reassignment Treatment.

The child’s parents have registered and christened her as a boy. How is anyone to know any different? Within three years “he” will know otherwise though … and the little girl inside will have learned enough about life already not to mention her profound self knowledge to anyone.

In years to come she will learn that people who seek the treatment to release them from this silent hell are labelled as freaks and get hounded by the press. They are shunned by their families and friends. They are treated with less respect than murderers and rapists. Anything they receive from medical specialists or authority is to be regarded as a grudging and contemptuous concession which they don’t really deserve. Not surprisingly, she will seek to bury her terrifying self knowledge deep within herself.

As enlightenment gradually dawns on society, sometime in her thirties, she will wince though when she sees women like her described as having been “born a man”.

A man? Look again at the photograph. You could no more call the child a “man”, than you could label them a “Computer Consultant”, “Conservative” or “Rights Campaigner”. Yet all of these labels are a part of her development potential, just as her innate femininity means she will not rest until she finds her true self-expression within society.

So, eventually, she will come to the agonising choice which confronts all transsexual people in the end … made worse for having deferred it until mid life. She will have to decide how to deal with the partner and family she acquired whilst trying to be what everyone expected of her. She will have to put her career on the line. She will lose her home and tens of thousands of pounds through divorce. She will lose some of her friends. For a while she will wonder if she deserves to keep her own self respect. Yet the choice is between that and suicide. For a life which is a perpetual lie … a life which gets more painful with every passing day of the soul’s denial … is no life at all.

Make believe? No. Increasing research evidence indicates that everything which transsexual people have ever reported about their mysterious juxtaposition of psychological gender and physical sex is true. The more science is inclined to look, the more it finds to substantiate the discovery that children like the little “boy” in the picture above really did already have the brain of a little girl.

Nobody can be blamed for assuming this little girl was a boy. If we have to have a basis for distinguishing how we’re going to differentiate the type of upbringing we’re to give our children then the appearance of their genitals is no more and no less arbitrary than the colour of their skin or the country they were born in. What matters, however, is how we respond when the child is old enough to turn round and say that we got it wrong in their case.

It helps, of course, to be sophisticated enough to be able to accept such an assertion with the respect it deserves. If society attaches such importance to gender then it’s hardly a trivial thing when you know you’ve been dragooned into the wrong one. Transsexuals need help, not hindrance, if they are to manage a transition which affects every single way in which they relate to the world around them.

More than that, however, a compassionate and sensible society will recognise that once such a change has occurred then there is absolutely no benefit to anyone in making it anything less than a 100% change. Society only has two social genders to choose from. Man and Woman. To cripple a man with a legal status which regards him as a woman, or to say that a woman cannot marry a man because of her long-since-removed birth deformity is to erect a deliberate barrier to the otherwise successful functioning of that individual. It is, in short, like breaking a man’s leg because you don’t want to accept that he can walk.

And that is all that we in Press for Change seek from British society. The right to walk. To stand on our own two feet after being forced to crawl for almost thirty years. It’s not a lot, is it?

This information sheet is compiled from an article by Press for Change, the organisation which campaigns for rights for transsexual people. To find out more about Press For Change visit their website at pfc.org.uk or write to them at:- Press For Change, BM Network, London WC1N 3XX

By Christine Burns, April 1997

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

Intersex Conditions

According to Prof. John Money, who has carried out extensive work within the field of gender identity, as many as four per cent of people are born with neither a clear male nor a clear female identity. This would mean around two and a quarter million people in Britain may be living with some form of intersex condition. Of these, many may suffer no discomfort or distress, they may not even be aware that medically they are classified as intersex. For others the condition produces profound symptoms at many levels.

Diagnosis of intersex is based mainly on physical observation, where biological and structural differences within the body are seen to vary from the accepted model for male or female. This is in contrast to transsexualism, which largely concerns brain sex because the brain perceives the individual’s gender identity to be the opposite of their physical appearance. At birth the first classification of a new human being is usually ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ according to the genitals. There are in fact four ways of recognising a baby’s sex, these are: genetic sex, biological sex according to internal organs, biological sex according to external sex organs, and brain sex. Where there is no obvious abnormality of the external sex organs the baby will be registered accordingly and its social conditioning into the relevant gender role immediately begins. In a small percentage of people, however, the external genitals may be ambiguous at birth, so no clear assessment of male or female is possible, or hidden conditions may come to light in the course of the child’s development.

The sex of a baby is established early in pregnancy and depends on which chromosome pair exists within the developing foetus. A foetus bearing an XY chromosome pair develops as male while the XX chromosome pair will develop a female. It is the Y chromosome that stimulates development of male testes and regression of female ovaries, and where this Y chromosome is absent the female system continues to develop unimpeded. However, other chromosome combinations are possible, leading to development which may produce an intersex state to a greater or lesser degree. The most commonly seen are Turner’s Syndrome (XO), Klinefelter’s Syndrome (XXY or XXXY) and combinations such as XXX (super female) or XYY (super male). Wherever there is a Y in the combination it is likely the foetus will develop along male lines, although exposure to hormones is also a crucial factor in sex development. Over or under exposure in the womb to male or female hormones may lead to a physical appearance at birth which does not match the chromosomal make up and/or brain identity. When considering the extremely complex cocktail of factors which must combine correctly to produce a clear and undisputed identity of male or female, it becomes easier to understand how the balance may be disturbed during foetal development producing intersex conditions. Gender dysphoria, the sense of dissatisfaction experienced when brain and body identity do not match, can begin in early childhood, while for some intersex children the confusion does not begin until their condition starts to reveal itself at puberty. It can be alarming for a boy to suddenly begin developing breasts, or for a girl to find testes descend from her body or a beard growing on her face. Nor is society always kind to such children. Family, friends and even the medical profession may fail them, leading to unhappy and sometimes tragic consequences.

Hermaphroditism and Intersexuality

Cases of a true hermaphrodite, someone with both sets of genitals formed and functioning, are considered to be extremely rare. Because both male and female genitalia develop from a common source, it would not be possible for an individual to have two ovaries and two testes, but it may be possible for one ovary and one testicle to develop. More common would be a case where both male and female genitalia are present but one or both are not fully formed. Such a case may be referred to as intersex, as the two terms are frequently synonymous. The genitals may resemble those of a female with a large clitoris and the labia fused together, or they may look more like those of a male with a small penis and empty scrotum. Severe cases may be obvious at birth where the baby is said to have ambiguous genitalia and surgery may be carried out so that the child can be assigned to either the male or female gender. In some cases the child is not told about this and there are stories of people who suffer extreme distress on discovering the truth in later life. Even where surgery has created a passable exterior presentation, function may be limited with ‘girls’ failing to menstruate or become fertile and ‘boys’ unable to produce an erection or father children. It may only be when the person visits the doctor for investigation into problems such as these that the underlying condition comes light. Where surgery is carried out soon after birth, it is too early to recognise the brain sex of the individual. Further problems may arise later in life if the child has been assigned one sex but proves to have the gender identity of the opposite sex, they may experience degrees of gender dysphoria similar to that found in transsexuality, alternatively, they may be happy with their sex or rearing but dissatisfied because their physical body does not conform to accepted norms of being completely male or female.

Klinefelter’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is XXY or XXXY. A baby will often be classified as male at birth, and there may be no unusual signs until puberty. It is believed to be present in about 1 in 1000 male births, but there are wide variations in intensity of symptoms and degree of ambiguity. Men with Klinefelter’s may have small testes, or they may be normal in size but produce lower than average qualities of testosterone. At puberty therefore strong secondary male characteristics may fail to develop, some boys will develop breasts, and in some cases there may be a distinct hermaphrodite structure with womb and ovaries. Most Klinefelter’s people will show common distinguishing features to a greater or lesser degree. These include being tall, a tendency to obesity, rounded shoulders, soft skin and face, a soft voice, no adams apple and possibly breasts. There may be low testosterone production and some oestrogen production as well. Individuals may suffer from some mental retardation or could show super intelligence. Depending on the degree of symptoms, and the presence and intensity of gender dysphoria or social discomfort, the Klinefelter’s person may choose medical treatment, including surgery, to identify more fully with one gender role, or may develop a dual gender lifestyle.

Turner’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is X, with the second X missing and children are usually classified as female. It is believed to affect around 1 in 10,000 girl births. The external genitalia usually appear normal and the brain sex is female, but the ovaries do not develop leading to infertility and low hormone production. There is a strong possibility of mental retardation.

Testicular Feminisation

Some babies who are genetically male with an XY chromosome while in the womb do not produce male hormones, especially testosterone, in sufficient quantities to develop male external sex organs. Alternatively they may produce testosterone but it is not recognised by the body and so does not trigger off such development. This condition is believed to occur in 1 in 50,000 births. Because of the female appearance at birth they are likely to be registered and raised as female, only when they fail to menstruate at puberty might their true genetic makeup be discovered. Although legally female, a ‘girl’ with this syndrome may develop secondary male characteristics such as a deep voice.

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

These are genetically female with an XX chromosome but the adrenal glands produce large amounts of hormones similar to testosterone. It is believed to occur in around 1 in 80,000 births. At birth the genitalia may appear male or ambiguous, although the person usually possesses ovaries. There may also be metabolic imbalances, and this may lead to early diagnosis of the condition.

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

This condition can occur spontaneously, but is usually an inherited genetic condition that tends to run in families. The AIS person has the male XY chromosome and produces hormones which inhibit development of interior female organs such as uterus and cervix. However due to failure to respond to testosterone the baby does not develop male genitals and at birth will appear female. Although they may develop breasts at puberty the vagina is small or absent and they do not menstruate. They are also unlikely to develop much body hair. Where the syndrome is diagnosed, undescended testes may be surgically removed due to risk of cancer, and vaginoplasty can be performed in some cases to lengthen the vagina.

There are two types of AIS: most (90%) of girls have external genitals that are completely female (but with no internal female organs) and this is known as Complete AIS (CAIS, technically AIS Grades 7 & 6). The remaining girls have Partial AIS (PAIS), their outward genital appearance may lie anywhere from almost completely female (AIS Grade 5) through to almost completely male (Grade 3).

In partial AIS the person may have the appearance of normal male genitalia but be infertile However most PAIS and all CAIS babies are reared as female for the following reasons: they will be infertile as males; they will have a female type puberty; they will not be able to function sexually as a man but they will be able to do so as a woman. However, there are cases where some PAIS persons raised as boys change over to being female in later life. (see the AIS group website as listed below).

Cloecal Extrophy

This is an extremely rare genetic disorder where it is impossible to determine the sex of the baby at birth. There may be no sign of any sex organs, or only small and undeveloped parts, the person will be unable to have children and may need to take hormone supplements throughout their life. Surgery may be carried out to assist the person to live a normal life. This condition was highlighted in the UK in the case of Joella who was initially registered as male but at 16 months was reassigned as female following surgery. Joella’s mother fought a highly publicised battle to change her child’s birth certificate.

Hypospadias

This condition is found in males where the penis is not formed correctly. The urethra does not run to the tip of the penis but exits along the underside. The degree of displacement can vary, and the condition is usually corrected with surgery in uncomplicated cases. Hypospadias may be present in certain intersex conditions or may be the only abnormality present.

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.

To Be Transsexual

What it feels like to be a Male-To-Female Transsexual, Before, during, and after transition. How it touches the soul, and How it affected my life.

Initially, the trouble with my body being the wrong sex was just…troubling. My mother told me stories, before she died, of the difficulties toilet training me, of getting me to deal with plumbing I felt unhappy with. I remember how kindergarten gave me my first taste of the shame I would be indoctrinated with over my life, of ridicule by adults and my peers. Back then, in early childhood, I knew something was wrong, it caused me embarrassment and a little shame, but I always felt that it would work out, if I just hoped and prayed hard enough.

From the earliest I felt different, because I was not like those I was supposed to be kin to, boys. I was quiet and gentle and they were rough and loud. I liked to draw and read, to paint and play with stuffed animals making little homes for them and myself, I did not fit in with my supposed peers. I felt outcast even in kindergarten, and I had a difficult time understanding fully just why.

Girls would often not include me, which I also did not understand, so the best definition of what it felt like for me to be a transsexual child would be Outcast and Confused.

As I approached puberty, the exclusion from both boys and girls increased, as each had reasons for avoiding the shy strange child I was. To boys I was weird because I liked girlish things, and to girls I was icky because I was supposed to be a boy. When they did include me, they wanted me to play the role of ‘daddy’ or ‘boyfriend’ or other such role, and I would only be willing to play ‘mommy’ or my usual, the ‘baby’ in games of playing house. In every activity my gender dilemma affected me. If I wanted to twirl on the monkey bars I was ridiculed because only girls did that, and my stuffed animals were taken away by my vile father, fearful of my love for them.

Eventually, I had to find a way to avoid persecution, for my difference increasingly resulted in physical abuse from the boys. I was threatened and beaten, called a fag and a queer, and constantly humiliated. I found an answer in Science Fiction, and my substitute dolls were little soft rubber monsters for which I would build not houses, but elaborate spacecraft. Science was just cool enough to be barely acceptable, and sometimes I could avoid persecution under the disguise of being an expectedly odd ‘Brain’. I used my intellect carefully to make myself fit that role as best I could, but I never was able to find real safety. My home-built starships had all the amenities, such as domed gardens and bathrooms, and I imagined elaborate relationships for my little toy friends. The boys that would play with me wanted to create adventures of conflict, but my stories always had my little monsters visiting peaceful worlds filled with gentle creatures who just wanted to be friends. The girls that would play with me sometimes let me play with their dolls, but then would ridicule me for it later.

The feelings of being a prepubescent transsexual might best be summarized by Hiding, Substitution, and the pain of Physical Abuse.

By puberty, I knew shame very well indeed, and feared the names and violence applied to me. Increasingly I tried to deny my true self, and felt that my gender identity was something to be disgusted about. Puberty brought a rush of sexual tension, and with it the most awful horror…sexuality.

The awful incorrectness of my body now seemed to have a will and mind of it’s own, and I felt devoured and possessed as if by some alien bodysnatching spore. I withdrew into the back of my own mind, and for the next decade and then some, would feel as if I were in the back row of a dark empty theater, watching helplessly as my life was lived by another.

Male hormones were like a poison and a terrible drug to me, they brought madness and sickness. I felt terrible all the time, poisoned by sweating, nervous twisted lust. The hormones made sexual feelings flood my mind, I could think of little else. I masturbated like a monkey in a cage, constantly, loathing the act but tortured by the uncontrollable drive. I felt like my constant nightmares, of being trapped in the backseat of a car, rolling to doom, down a steep hill.

The feeling of being a puberty stricken transsexual was for me the feeling of being possessed by a demon, the feeling of being out of control, with the only help in withdrawal deep within my own mind. It felt like I was being raped by my own flesh, turned against me and possessed by an alien will.

The agony of this drove me to near madness. My mind did it’s best to survive, and split into two separate awareness. One awareness became a day-to-day attempt to fit in, to be what the world expected, and this version of me had little conscious acknowledgment of my gender problem. All it knew was that I was miserable, sick to die.

The other half of my consciousness became dominant only when it was safe, it waited to become me when ever the opportunity to be alone arose.
Alone, my true self leapt panting into full consciousness, desperate to seize a moment to be itself. It was inevitable that my dressing up in my mothers things would become tarnished by that dreadful sex drive that owned my body utterly, and the endless masturbation became entwined with dressing as a woman, at least for a while.

Nearing my 20’s I had begun to finally have some slight control over the impulses that rode me, and once again became able to separate dressing from the need for sexual release. I could once again simply enjoy, for however brief a time, feeling somewhat close to being my true self. One fine night I simply sat in a rocking chair in my favorite nightgown and watched the rain, a blessed eternal time of utter, peaceful contentment.

Then as soon as the moment was no longer safe, as soon as discovery became imminent, my mind slammed down the steel shutters, and I literally had no memory of what I had just been doing.

This schizoid defense mechanism is the closest I ever hope to be to true madness. I comprehend that it was the way my mind found to survive an unendurable agony, but it was a frightening and disturbing guard.

No sane human wants to be utterly alone, and I still had some shed of sanity left. Of the lovers I had at that time, all were female, and I did my best to fill the role expected of me…but it was very difficult. My sex drive found release, at first, but what I most deeply wanted was an eternal, committed relationship, something few other 18 year olds of my time seemed to want. In coping with the sex I was driven to engage in, the only way I could deal with the soul-rending horror of using those accursed organs I possessed was to distance my self increasingly from the act. Eventually I was all machine inside, carefully memorizing and calculating the exact behaviors that would please my partner, with no thought of what was happening for my own lizard brain. If my partner was satisfied, perhaps they would like me and stay with me forever. It was a reasoned transaction. It became like playing a video game or pinball, as I used intellectual techniques and trained motor control to rack up a performance score measured in orgasms per hour on the fleshy console I played. Of course this kind of distancing cannot last without self destruction, and soon I was incapable of ‘performing’ -for that was indeed what it was- any more. Impotence was a relief, for it spared me from this special hell of squirming wetness and reptilian compulsion. To this day, because of this agony, sex is all but anathema to me, and I am essentially asexual. Being sexual at all brings back some of the awfulness of those days, and flashback shrieking horrors in my soul, but happily, I now possess almost no sex drive at all. This is a magnificent benefit to my comfort, but frustrating upon occasion for my spouses. I do not know if I will ever be able to feel good about sex. It hurts so much less -and feels so wonderful- to be an angel. It seems that being innocent and childlike is my safety and my salvation.

The feeling of young adulthood as a transsexual was for me best described by Schizoid Denial and Crumbling Survival.

When I finally had my catharsis, and awakened, when the cleft halves of my split mind rejoined, when the pain finally brought me to the point of facing my self or welcoming death by my own hand, I knew Purpose.

Fully, consciously aware of my lifelong torture, armed with a definition of my condition, and clear on what I must do to save my own life, I began a Holy Quest to redress the unendurable fault of my birth.

Transition was enormous pain, and required every ounce of will and strength I possessed merely to continue one day to the next. All about me was hostility, and the loss of friends and family. My sadness was oceanic. Even so, I have never felt more alive, for I was facing life and death square on, for a Holy Purpose, and driven by that Purpose I felt invincible!

As my flesh, under the gentle but powerful magic of female hormones, began to change, as my sex drive fell away and the driving demon that possessed me was exorcised, I began to feel light as air. Sylphlike, I floated on wings of hope, and knew peace in my body, my mind and my soul. Oh, the difference! Where male hormones made me feel poisoned and sick to die, driven by sweaty-dark aggression, female hormones made me feel innocent and pure, filled with light and gentle contentment. I felt cherubic and new born, and I knew in a matter of weeks that my choice was correct.

It felt so wonderful to shapeshift ! Every day held promise, for I enjoyed a second childhood of soft growing wonder. I saw my hands soften and become delicate again, a sight lost to puberty. I itched sweetly inside my growing bosom, and the sea of life within my body altered it’s flow to fit the contours of my soul. I was no longer in the back of the dark theater of my perception, I was outside that metaphoric theater altogether, living life fully, as I do to this day. I knew constant hope, and the exquisite pleasure of being resculpted by the very Nature who once betrayed me. The Mother was repairing Her mistake.

Only this boundless joy and ecstasy could have permitted me to survive the misery I endured at the hands of the cruel humans around me. The stuff of ridicule, there were many days I could not face the grocery store and went hungry, because the taunting and insults of the clerks were too much to bear.

The feeling of transition was Absolute Heaven, and Deepest Hell. It was miracle and curse, release and damnation both. But I have never before or since, felt more truly alive. It was Real Magick, the stuff of dreams made solid.

Surgery was almost anticlimactic, at the same time as being utterly terrifying and hideously painful. I knew I could die from it, and for the first time in my life, I had something to live for. But I also knew I could not endure to live with those horrid organs. I loathed them, how they looked, how the worked, what they felt like. It was like having some decaying parasitic worm hanging off of my body, or a tumor that had distended to freakshow proportions.

After my surgery, after the bloody mess had healed and the stitches removed, after the Frankenstein reconstruction had finally become Human, I marveled.

I finally felt….right. Correct. Oddest of all, I felt exactly the way that I imagined that I would feel before surgery. How could I possibly know what having a vagina, labia, clitoris, -even a ‘pseudo cervix’ would feel? Yet I had, long before these things were my body, in my dreams.

Science tells us that there is a map in the circuitry of the brain of the layout of our bodies, and children born without limbs suffer phantom limb syndrome though they have never known the missing limbs, my explanation is that my ‘body map’ was female, and the cause of my desperate need for surgery. Things felt wrong because my wiring told me clearly what I should be shaped like. Now that I am, the conflict is gone, and my suffering for missing organs is absent. I possess the contours and organs that fit my internal ‘map’, and so I feel…..all right.

So the feeling of surgical correction is…normality. Finally feeling free from internal and external conflict. It just…finally….is OK.

Now, 16 years after surgery, I live my life pretty much without much thought to gender dilemma. I am fixed, I am repaired. But I will never be utterly without this difference. Unlike most women, I suspect, I cannot help but occasionally hug my own breasts, feel the delicate flower of my labia, or the softness of my skin, and whisper a heartfelt prayer of thanks for the gift of finally being me. I can never take these things for granted, they are happy birthday presents forever, reminders that I lived a miracle.

And because I have lived such an adventure, I am forever set apart. I cannot simply be an ordinary woman, because I have not lived an ordinary woman’s life. The mindless chit-chat of either the average woman, or the average man, bores me to tears, and so in a way, I am still apart, alien on the inside. And so many life experiences I cannot join in to discuss, like menstruation, or dating, or Girl Scouts, or the myriad trials of growing up as a girl. I have known all of the discriminations and limitations of being a female…and then some, for I was treated as a freak before my attainment of womanhood…but few of the joys. I can not relate to the childhood of a boy either, for I did not have one, so I have so many things -not- to say.

This difference does haunt me, and in my years of hiding until this site on the internet, I felt the most disturbing muteness, the fear of discovery, that anyone should know my shameful past. This is why I have decided to come Out, because even if my body is at last corrected, I have been altered in my soul and mind by the journey to achieve it.

So the feeling of being a post-op transsexual is for me the comfort of happy correctness mixed with the bitterness of forever lost girlhood, and the joy of remembering that I am a miracle, a shapeshifter incarnate, and that I have lived an adventure. I am at once Normalized and Alienated, Wistful and Joyful together.

This is what it feels like, at least for me.

transsexual.org/Feels.html – 2002

Dating for Male-To-Female Transsexuals

1. If you date men, you are always in potentially fatal danger. Be aware.

2. Make certain, before you even consider a date, that your partner is FULLY aware of your status and is not significantly bothered by it. Never date anyone who does not know about you.

3. Be aware that in our society, men who are secure enough to accept you are rare. there are predators who attack transsexuals, confused sorts who seek to use and then punish transsexuals, and those who try to be accepting but fail, often violently.

4. Be honest, be aware, and be very, very cautious.

5. Some men may only like you because of your transsexuality, and may find you uninteresting post-operatively. Be sure of the attractions that occur.

6. It is not all dark, but you will have to search more carefully, and be more aware, than nontranssexual women. Even with all the above, know that it is possible to find caring partners and loving friends.

The reasons

Dating both pre, and even post-op, involves concerns that nontranssexual folk do not have to concern themselves with. Some of these issues are serious.
Most, if not all of the dangerous issues revolve around sexual and gender insecurities. These insecurities are not dangerous in the transsexual, they are very dangerous in nontranssexuals.

Our culture still has a lot of bigotry and mindless hatred in it, and much of this evil comes from religious origins.

Homosexuality and Gender Threat

Early Christianity, Judaism, and to a lesser degree, Islam, became dominant in the western world by virtue of being warfare based religions. The universe was spiritually divided into an Absolute Good, and and Absolute Evil, and the basic premise was that the Good and True believers in the faith had to overcome everyone and everything else. To accomplish this, two things had to be done: one, the group, tribe, and religion had to concern itself with converting by any means possible other groups, and two, it had to become as populous as possible.
This last requirement is the basic reason behind homosexuality being made into a crime and an Evil. More babies means more tribe members. More tribe members means more ability to conquer and convert. Homosexuality produces fewer babies than heterosexuality. It cannot be tolerated by a belief system bent on domination.

You may be a woman, but be you pre-op or post-op, the social stigma of ever possessing a penis is there. If you date a man, those old Judeo-Christian issues in our western society kick in, and problems can occur. Sometimes these problems can be fatal.

Transsexuals and the Foundations of Assumed Truth

Transsexuals, by their existence, threaten basic assumptions and truths about gender and religion. The ‘Evil’ of homosexuality is shown to be the violent nonsense it is when the transsexual enters into the equation. Am I, a post-op, a woman? A surgically altered man? Something outside the scope of current belief and understanding?
As for the pre-op transsexual, then all possibility of a clear answer becomes lost. Is a pre-op a woman, a man, a woman in some ways, a man in others? To the average, simple mind, the result is paradox, confusion, and the destruction of neat, tidy categories and labels. It is hard to believe in religious prohibitions when reality itself shows the limits of them. If the word of god is so limited, so meaningless, the universe itself becomes upset for some folks. They find themselves adrift, without answers, forced to think, perhaps for the very first time. They begin to question themselves and their place in the universe, they are filled with nagging doubts.

Scared, confused people can be very dangerous. They can become violent, they can kill.

Far too many transsexuals have been murdered by men that just could not handle the issues they were forced to confront, the doubt they felt, the insecurity they suffered, or the ‘Truth’ that came tumbling down.

Sometimes the conflict is so severe, that men become convinced that the only way to restore their lost faith is to destroy that which caused it to be questioned. Such men deliberately seek out transsexuals to punish, humiliate, control, or harm them.

These same issues can also lead to other reactions besides murder. Some people are attracted to the forbidden and the rejected, and find it exciting. Such folks will find you desirable only as long as you fit this category.

Other folks try very hard to accept the transsexual, but fail at the task, because the conflict between what they were raised to believe, and what they want to be accepting about, is too much. In the end, sometimes the original ‘Truth’ wins out, especially because society supports it.

In all cases, the root cause of this nastiness is fear and instilled hatred of homosexuality, and this comes from only one place, religion. It is pervasive in our culture, because our culture is steeped in Judeo-Christian values and beliefs.

The Game Of ‘What Am I ?’

If you are a Male-To-Female transsexual and you are attracted to men, then what is really going on? Are you gay or straight or what? The answer depends on how one chooses to look at the transsexual.
If what matters is identity, is the mind and the heart, then you are a heterosexual woman with very standard desires.

If all that matters is the birth shape of the skin, in the past, present ot future, then you are an altered gay man experiencing homosexual desires.

If all that matters is the current cut of the skin, then a pre-op is a gay man and a post-op is a straight woman.

If the transsexual is considered a unique creature, a ‘third sex’, then all definitions become moot…perhaps being some shade of bisexual might come closest.

The problem is that, however you may define yourself, others will create definitions of their own over which you have little or no control.

What you must do is to be conscious of this, and determine what you want, and what you are willing to do, accept and teach, to get what you want. You must also be aware of the very real dangers involved.

It is not fair that this should be so. It is not fair that transsexuals should be forced to be so cautious, so concerned with safety, so endangered. It is not fair that religious dogma should brand transsexuals and homosexuals both as evil or as misguided, or even simply as distasteful.

But it is real, and you have to deal with that, or possibly die.

On the positive side, however, real, decent relationships are not impossible. They can and do occur, because there are men out there who can sort themselves out, and get past this inculcated bigotry or fear.
I know of such relationships personally, and am even involved in one: in my polyamory, or group marriage, one of my spouses is male. But it does take a little more effort and searching than the nontranssexual woman must face.

Selectively Out

All of this does not mean that the transsexual must wear their transsexual status as a badge, or be out to everyone, everywhere.
The key is to be selectively ‘Out’, to carefully choose who to tell and when and why. This is something the individual transsexual must be in control of, if at all possible.

Each circumstance must be evaluated on it’s own merits, but there is a general rule of thumb to follow:

Tell men up front, as early as possible

Why? because 93.7 percent of all violent crime, on the planet earth, is committed by men. Women just do not commit violent crimes even faintly as often. Women do not rape, murder, kill for hate, fag bash, mutilate, dismember, shoot, eviscerate, disembowel or torture unto death nearly as often as men do.

I will not bother with a discussion of the possible reasons for this, suffice to say that in the debate all sides are correct: the reasons are cultural, biological, genetic, and social all at the same time. Why this is true is not important.

What is important is that it is true, across the globe, in every society, everywhere. Even if violence is all but nonexistent, what violence there is will follow this statistic. Learn the one thing all women must:

Be afraid of men.

Nontranssexual women learn this from an early age. 3 out of 4 women learn it the hard way, in America, at some point in their lives. When you live as a woman, love as a woman, exist as a woman, you automatically are the heir to the perils of being a woman. To think yourself immune or to fail to be aware of this, is suicide.
Even more extreme, the status of being transsexual, even post-op, put one at a greater risk than that of nontranssexual woman.

Save your own life. Be up front, be ‘Out’ to any prospective male date.

Different For Women

This article is concerned with MTF transsexual woman who wish to date men, primarily because this is the group in serious statistical peril. Why not an article about the issues of dating as a lesbian?

Perhaps in time, but in general, the issues there are more about rejection and social bigotry, rather than physical violence and death or dismemberment. Your author identifies as being primarily lesbian, or if you prefer, a ‘polarized bisexual’: dedicated to reducing reflected glare off of sexual surfaces.

Although this may be a terribly politically incorrect thing to say, because of the vastly smaller risk of getting dead or mutilated, it is reasonably safe to date with women without outing ones self, until the relationship reaches the point of sexual involvement.

Because one is less likely to be killed, one can hope to become close friends first, before revealing the Big Secret, if one is living in secrecy of any degree.

The value of doing this is simple: it increases slightly the odds of being considered a human being, and therefore also increases the possibility of not being immediately dismissed out of bigotry, political dogma, ignorance, or blind, mindless hatred.

Because women are less likely to disembowel you for being a transsexual, you have a chance to escape having to suffer outing yourself immediately.

You have a chance to be seen, for a while at least, as something other than a politically unacceptable Frankenstein monster.

This may be enough time to cut through the bigotry and be truly seen.

Conclusions

The content of this article sounds quite frightening, and this is not without some rationality. However, there is also a danger in becoming paralyzed by fear or concern. That danger is loneliness.
What I suggest that you do is to be aware of the dangers and issues, but also realize that they are indicative of probabilities. It is very possible for you to find joy and and love, it is just my intent that you live long enough to find them.

Be smarter than those who would harm you, and you have the edge. Be aware of the very real dangers, and select carefully, mindful of your own precious safety.

The concerns for the MTF transsexual woman are a bit more severe than for the nontranssexual woman, but not insurmountable.

Keep your wits sharp and be careful out there.

transsexual.org/dating1.html – 2002

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