Lesbian News – Page 4 – news.lgbti.org

Who Were the First Lesbians to be Legally Married?

There names are Helene Faasen and Anne-Marie Thus, and their civil wedding was approved by the law of the Netherlands on April 1st, 2001. Holland was the first country to approve same sex marriage.

First Great Step for Lesbians

”We married for love, not politics. But of course we were aware it was an historic moment” said Anne-Marie

Her wife, notary Helene Faasen, added, ”By tying the knot in front of the world’s press, we wanted to make other people think about how horrible it is to be denied something that is a natural right for others. A heterosexual person never needs to think about whether he is allowed to marry or not, he simply needs to be lucky enough to find the love of his life.”

The Dutch couple shared their vows with three pairs of grooms. Since then, over 15,000 gay and lesbian couples have wed in the Netherlands – about 2 per cent of the total number of marriages registered between 2001 and 2010, based on figures from the Central Statistics Bureau.

According to the Amsterdam-based COC, the world’s oldest homosexual advocacy group, there are about a million gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the Netherlands out of a total population of 16.7 million.

Anne-Marie and Helene live with their two children, 10-year-old Nathan, and Myrthle, 9, in Maastricht in south Netherlands, where Anne-Marie says she loves to spend her free time cooking and Helene relaxes by tending the garden.

Their children were born from Anne-Marie and anonymous sperm donors.

“Like many other people, we have a family, work, a house, a dog and two rabbits,” said Anne-Marie, who met “the love of my life” on a blind date in 1998.

The Labrys: Claiming our Lesbian Heritage

Women, and lesbians in particular, have a long and fond association with the labrys or double-headed axe. In a world where male history dominates female herstory, we need to go back to learn about our past.

The labrys was both a symbol of Goddess culture, fertility and used as a tool in agriculture. It was celebrated in Greek culture and later by the Amazonian women in battle. When mounted between cattle horns, the labrys was the holiest of Goddess symbols. What is so special about the labrys is that it was only used by women. It came in all sizes being worn as jewelry or being carved as nine feet tall symbols of religion which stood at the end of altars.

When usually view the labrys as an upright axe with blades coming out of the handle to the left and right, that is in an upright position. However, it was also viewed on its side with an hourglass figure that was associated with the female body. When viewed this way, it was honored as the Goddess or Mother Earth figure. It symbolized the female labia at the entrance of the womb. In either position it also came to symbolize the womb and a butterfly that symbolized rebirth. Rebirth was seen around these ancient women in the death and regeneration of trees and crops. The two heads reminded the women of the waxing and waning of the moon and their monthly menstruation. All connected to the birth of new crops and the birth of human life.

Lesbians are drawn to a woman society. In relationships they give birth to love and purposeful living. Many lesbians are mothers to offsprings and mothers to their partners and those with whom they come in contact with. It is a mothering that is creative and empowering of individuals and collectively as a female society. It is a powerful totem against negative people, hatred and indifference.

For many of us, the axe symbolically cuts through prejudice of every kind. In our hands the axe is a powerful weapon of self-love, community service and world-wide celebration of women who love women. We cannot let our labrys rust! Whenever and wherever we can, we must use it to bring justice to our lesbian sisters (and women in general) in homophobic and misogynist society. Our fight is ongoing and a worthy one.

2013, Paula @ stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

First Buddhist Lesbian Wedding

The location:

Two hundred and fifty guest gathered at the Hongshi Buddhist Seminary outside Taipei, Taiwan. Preparing to meet them were two 30-year old lesbians excited about a marriage that would make headlines world-wide.

The Brides:

Huang Meiyu and You Yating gathered their prayer beads which would be exchanged instead of rings. They walked out into a Taiwan sky filled with sunshine, and a small part of the earth filled with smiles and cheers. In less than an hour, this wedding would mark the first Buddhist blessed same-sex marriage in Taiwan or in Asia for that matter. It was August 11, 2012.

Some Reasons for Marriage

Huang told reporters that neither bride felt the need to legitimize their relationship over the seven years they had spent together.

A movie, “If These Walls Could Talk2,” made the couple re-evaluate their thinking. One of the characters in this move was unable to stay with her dying partner because she was “in the closet,” and there were no laws to protect either lesbian character.

Huang and You felt compelled to marry in order to bring them full and equal marital rights. They also wanted these rights extended to all homosexuals.

Could They Have a Buddhist Marriage?

Huang and You are committed Buddhists and have a spiritual and physical connection to Hongshi Buddhist Seminary. Both women were not sure if a Buddhist wedding ceremony could be performed for lesbians. Buddhist teachings on homosexuality are less defined that the Leviticus teachings of the Jewish Torah or Old Testament.

Some Buddhists ban gay sex based on precept against “inappropriate sexual behaviour.” In countries such as Japan, China and Mongolia, there has been a tradition that celebrated homosexuality and even encouraged it. The women, therefore, approached their teacher, Zhao Hui. Huang told reporters that Zhao Hui was delighted and invited the couple to have the ceremony at the seminary. Now, the couple could happily exchange their marriage vows in front of the monks, nuns, classmates and friends. Zhao Hui is constantly praised for letting her students come to their own moral conclusions.

In the case of a lesbian Buddhist wedding, Zhao Hui expressed to the happy couple that she did not see anything special or different about this relationship. The women were partners and committed to love.

The Buddhist Ceremony

As the couple exchanged prayer beads and vowed to a life-time of commitment, monks, nuns and friends chanted sutras to seek blessings for the couple. Officiating at the wedding was another Buddhist master, Shi Chao-hwei. She witnessed Huang Meiyu and You Yating exchange prayer beads and vows.

The Media

Shi Chao-hwei was asked questions on the first Buddhist same-sex marriage. She responded, “We are witnessing history. The two women ae willing to stand out and fight for their fate…to overcome social discrimination.” Shi Chao-hwei also pointed out that while Buddhism does not engage in ideological struggles, she played down criticisms that homosexuality is a sin, saying, “all lives are equal in the religion.” The families of the couple stayed away from the media, but several reports state that they love and approve of this commitment.

The Future

Pride Week in Taipei, draws over 60,000 homosexuals. The theme of the 2012 parade was for marriage equality. According to several polls carried out recently, many Taiwanese support same-sex marriage. Several bills have been presented to the Taiwanese government (as early as 2003), but with public opinion shifting in favour of equality of marriage, Taiwan is likely to be the first Asian country to approve it.

Our Love to the Newly Weds.

Belated greetings to Huang Meiyu and You Yating. Thank you for taking the bold steps for your fellow brothers and sisters. To all LGBT Taiwanese we wish you peace and happiness and the hope, that if you are longing to hear wedding bells, they will ring very soon. Whether you exchange prayer beads or rings, may your weddings be lasting moments of loving commitment.

Paula, 2012, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Virginia Woolf and Vita Sackville West

It was over dinner with a mutual acquaintance in December 1922 that Vita met Virginia Woolf and the affair of nineteen years started.

Vita Known as an Aristocratic Woman

Vita may have been better known in English society as the aristocratic writer and gardener, but Virginia was the superior writer. Virginia was published through her husband’s publishing firm, Hogarth and was considered the better writer.

Three years after meeting Vita Sackville West, Virginia published Mrs. Dalloway (1925) and the following: To the Lighthouse (1927) and Orlando (1928) which put Vita as the hero-ine. In 1929 she wrote an essay A Room of One’s Own with its famous dictum, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

Virginia Impressed by Vita in Love, but Not in Literature

Virginia was intrigued by Vita’s “full-breastedness” but considered her lover to be a second-rate writer.

Vita and Her Homosexual Husband:

Vita Sackville and her husband, Harold, were open about their bi-sexual nature. She wrote to Harold, ‘I simply adore Virginia Woolf, and so would you,” and again, ‘I’ve rarely taken such a fancy to anyone . . . I have quite lost my heart.’

To Virginia, she wrote straightforwardly: ‘I like you a fabulous lot.’ The two women soon began exchanging flirtatious letters — a correspondence that carried on for 19 years.

Their physical intimacy was of shorter duration.

Sparks Fly

In December 1925, while Virginia was visiting Vita at Long Barn, when passion exploded. In a letter to a Vita, Virginia wrote:

‘the explosion which happened on the sofa in my room here when you behaved so disgracefully and acquired me for ever’. She also wrote about it as ‘the night you were snared, that winter, at Long Barn’.

Vita Considers Virginia’s Mental Stability.

Vita, however, was aware that a full-scale sexual awakening might put her new lover’s fragile mental stability at risk. The following year, Vita told her husband,Harold : ‘I have gone to bed with her (twice), but that’s all . . . I am scared to death of arousing physical feelings, because of the madness.’

Harold praised her restraint: ‘It’s not merely playing with fire; it’s playing with gelignite,’ he said.

Virginia Puts Vita into Literature

Virginia’s acclaimed novel Orlando, which features a hero who keeps changing sex, was clearly based on her Vita — indeed, Vita’s son Nigel later described it as an extended love letter to his mother. It was also Virginia’s way of possessing at least a part of her sexually fascinating friend, if only on paper.

Love Cannot Save Virginia

People have speculated that Virginia was a manic-depressive On March 28, 1941, she filled her overcoat pockets with stones. She walked into the River Ouse and drowned herself.

Paula, 2015, stories4hotbloodedlesbians.com

Lesbians More Likely To Orgasm, Study Finds

Does one sexual identity have a greater likelihood of sexual pleasure then another? A study by the Kinsey Institute for research of sex and gender at Indiana University Bloomington has found that lesbians are the most likely of any group to experience orgasms.

The study entitled “Variation in Orgasm Occurrence by Sexual Orientation in a Sample of U.S. Singles” surveyed 6,151 single and sexually active men and women, from ages 21 to 65. The researchers found that lesbian women had the highest frequency of orgasms at 75% of sexual experiences resulting in orgasm. The lowest likelihood of orgasm was found in bisexual women at 58%.

The correlation between rate of orgasm and sexual identity was not demonstrated in men. However, men orgasm 85% of the time regardless of sexual orientation or identity, whereas adjusting for sexual orientation, women orgasm only 62% of the time.

The institute’s founder Alfred Kinsey, pioneered research in sexual pleasure as a scientific pursuit, and noted as early as the 1950s, a correlations between sexual orientation and orgasm, however this is the first attempt to codify Kinsey’s theories.

Scientists next hope to find whether a mental or physical differentiation is responsible for the variations in likelihood of orgasm. Very little is known outside of a purely physiological level—the increase of heart rate and changes in blood pressure. The mental and emotional aspects of stimulation remains something of a mystery to researchers.

Dr. M. Mirza, 2015
lgbt health wellness .com

What does Lesbian mean?

Lesbian is the term most commonly used to describe sexual and romantic attraction among women. This word can be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are considered by others as a primary attribute of female homosexuality or an adjective, to describe the characteristics of an object or activity related to female homosexuality.

The term lesbian is derived from the name of the Greek island of Lesbos and is therefore considered in some cases to be a Eurocentric category that does not necessarily represent the identities of African-Americans and other non-European ethnic groups. With that being said, individually identified individuals from various ethnic groups, including African-Americans, take the term “lesbian” as an identity tag.

For lesbians, the definition of gay women is also used.

Lesbian Flag

While it is difficult to come across lesbian pride flags in pride marches, it is a widely used flag online.

The Lesbian Flag represents L in the LGBTI+ community and comes into existence in many shades of pink.

But many of the lesbian communities prefer other symbols to represent themselves, such as the Venus symbol or the rainbow flag.

You can also see the Lesbian Pride flag in versions that are often combined with other flags, with kisses, lipstick, and Venus symbols.

A lesbian community flag with alternatives available as well.

Lesbian Relationships

Unlike a heterosexual relationship, a lesbian relationship provides more freedom than restrictions. However, eventually every lesbian relationship suffers from one common drawback: the fear of society in which one has to survive. All relationships are based on love, understanding and expectations. The same holds true for lesbian relationships. A difference of opinion occurs on grounds of whether or not the lesbian identity should be concealed from the society. Insecurity builds up if one of the partners opts to conceal the relationship from the society. Even if a lesbian couple overcomes the homophobia factor, there are other relevant issues regarding the social background, attitudes and most importantly the age difference between both the partners. In order to make any relationship a success, both the individuals need to provide enough space to each other. This might create a problem if one of the partners is dominating in nature. The other partner might feel rejected due to such demanding tendencies. It therefore becomes obvious that both the partners need to get fine tuned with each other’s behavioral patterns.

There is a common saying that “no two fingers are alike”. Unnecessary differences can lead to depression and unwanted conflicts. In case a conflict does arise, the best possible solution is to talk about it and resolve the issue there and then. To assume that time would become a healing factor can lead to inevitable break up of the relationship. One of the partners might not have an understanding nature. In such a case, it becomes the sole responsibility of the other partner to revive the existing relationship and give a new meaning to it. One must not forget that there are numerous social elements that make a lesbian relationship a hard ship to sail. If both the partners feel that there is a need of involving a mutually trusted friend to resolve the conflict, they should go ahead and do so. Usually a third person can judge better which one of the two partners is more demanding and dominating.

At the end, what needs to be remembered is that it’s always better to forgive and forget the mistakes of the one you love. Yes, this is tough, but good things don’t come that easily. The need to avoid a break up increases manifolds if the relationship is known in the society. It becomes the moral responsibility of both the partners to become strength of each other, rather than becoming a weakness. The amount of love, caring and understanding is required more in case of a lesbian relationship as compared to any heterosexual relationship.

Are You Lesbian or Bisexual?

Sexuality is full of labels, the most prominent being straight or gay. As a society we love to live in boxes or to be labeled so that we feel part of some kind of group; it helps us to become comfortable with our way of life. At some point in your existence you will find yourself thinking, “Oh I like women, therefore I must be a lesbian” or “Oh no, I like men, therefore I am heterosexual”. This is called determining your sexuality.

But what happens if you have a burning sexual attraction for both men and women?

Is this just a phase you are going through, or do you fit into the box labeled bisexual?

Being bisexual basically means that you are attracted to, and would engage in sexual activity with, both male and female partners. Bisexuals are probably the most misunderstood people in society. Lesbians and gays find it just as hard to accept as straight people that there are human beings that exist on this earth that are sexually attracted to both men and women. Bisexuals often get taunted for being the lazy sexuality, people that can’t make up their minds, or people that just won’t commit. In reality, bisexual people are those of us that can fall in love with a man, or a woman, and couldn’t care less what sex they are and what type of genitals they have. They recognize the inner being rather than the outer core.

Lesbian Or Bisexual?

We all go through a period of discovering our sexual identity. This can be during puberty, or it can take place much later on in life – especially if someone has kept their true sexuality under wraps for decades because they were afraid of rejection. It can be incredibly hard to come to terms with the fact that you are sexually attracted to women, but people who are confused about their sexuality struggle even more when they can’t determine whether they like men or women more.

If you find that you can relate to this dilemma then it sounds like you are trying to determine whether you are a lesbian or a bisexual. Before anything else, start by answering the five questions below with a simple YES or NO answer.

1. Do you find both men and women attractive?
2. Is it the person rather than the gender that attracts you to people?
3. Can you be sexually aroused by both men and women?
4. Do you find yourself fantasizing about sex with both men and women?
5. Do you enjoy sex with both men and women (if you have had sex with both sexes)?

If your answer to all of these questions is yes, then you could be bisexual; ‘could’ being the operative word in this sentence. The truth is that there is no steadfast rule, or description, that you can match yourself against to say whether you are leaning towards lesbianism or bisexuality. The answer lies in the test of time. You just have to go with the flow, allow yourself to gain sexual experience, and decide for yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be labeled straight, or gay, by society just because that’s the way most people like to live. If, at this present moment in time, you want to have sex with both men and women then you should allow yourself to do so.

Then, in time, you will be able to decide for yourself whether bisexuality is your true path, or you were actually a lesbian all along but you were frightened to let go of the apron strings of heterosexuality. At the end of the day the label doesn’t matter; it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual; they are all just words that put groups of people in boxes. Maybe bisexuals break the mould, but if you love men and women then who are we to argue!

Lesbian seeking gay man for marriage

The app, called Queers, allows gay men to connect to a network of over 4000 lesbians in order to enter into a ‘co-operative marriage’.

The agreement which is referred to as a ‘xinghun’ in China, operates much like the Western notion of a beard, whereby a person may date someone in order to conceal their sexuality.

Users of the app have explained a xinghun allows them to continue with the appearance of heterosexuality and conceal their sexuality from oftentimes conservative parents.

Although China decriminalised homosexuality in 1997, many of the nation’s older generation still view being lesbian or gay as a mental illness (China removed the classification of homosexuality as a mental disorder in 2001).

Founder of Queers, Liao Zhuoying said since the app launched two weeks ago, he has had over 10,000 users sign up.

Liao said Queers was a by-product of his company’s dating and meet-up apps, Gaypark and Lespark. He told the South China Post he had noticed a section of gay men were searching for lesbian wives whilst on his sites so he conducted a survey to canvas the needs of his community and Queers was born…