Gay – Page 4 – news.lgbti.org

Lesbian, Gay Male and Transgender Elder Abuse

When most people think about Lesbians and Gay men, they think about sexuality. After all, it’s sexuality — sexual behavior — that distinguishes heterosexuals from homosexuals. And since our culture says sexuality is an intensely private activity (particularly for the generations who are currently elders), discussion of Lesbian and Gay male elder issues can seem inappropriate and/or unnecessary, particularly when our goal is to intervene in cases of elder abuse that may have nothing to do with sex.

However, the equation of homosexuality exclusively with sexuality does Lesbian and Gay male elders a very grave disservice. It erases two key components of Gay life that have everything to do with how well these elders are served by aging providers in general and by adult protective services in particular: their relationships, and their social, psychological, and legal environment. This article seeks to outline how being a Lesbian, Gay male, or Bisexual elder may impact on that elder’s need for — and willingness to accept assistance from — adult protective services. It will also discuss some strategies adult protective workers may want to adopt to ease these elders’ fears.

Lesbian and Gay male elders have been called an “invisible” population (Cruikshank, 1991). If they are invisible, then transgendered elders have been inconceivable. Many adult protective services workers do not even realize such elders exist. This article therefore also explores transgender issues and identity vis-a-vis elder abuse and adult protective services.

Unfortunately, due in large measure to our society’s still-pervasive social prejudice against and ignorance about sexual orientation and gender minorities, there have been few studies of this population of elders, and virtually no one has examined how this population’s culture affects its experience with elder abuse. This paper is thus only a beginning, speculative venture into this realm. It is based primarily on my personal knowledge of Lesbian and Gay male elders and younger transgendered persons and on my discussions with social workers serving older Lesbians and Gay men and with domestic violence specialists serving older women or Lesbians, Gay men, and transgendered persons.

Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity

It’s often said that Americans are obsessed with sex. Unfortunately, that obsession has not translated into accurate and complete information about sexuality and gender. Therefore, before we can begin discussing elder abuse in relationship to this population, we need to define who they are.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to whether someone is sexually and/or emotionally attracted to: someone of the same gender (Lesbian, Gay male, Gay or Homosexual [both referring to either men or women]); someone of the opposite gender (heterosexual or “straight”); or both (bisexual). It’s impossible to determine how many people are Lesbian or Gay, since social prejudices dictate that many people will lie about this aspect of their identity. Those who have estimated percentages have produced numbers everywhere from 2% of the population to 20%, with 5-10% being the most popular estimates (Buxton, 1994).

Gender Identity

Gender identity refers to whether you perceive yourself to be male, female, both, or neither. Most of the time people who perceive themselves to be male are born with male genitalia, and those who perceive themselves to be female are born with genitalia labelled female. The exceptions are transgendered persons, who will be discussed in more detail below. There are nocredible estimates of how many Americans are transgendered.

The Intersection of Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation Sexual orientation and gender identity are wholly separate characteristics, like age and race. Most Lesbians feel fully female and most Gay men never question their maleness. Transgendered individuals may be heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or asexual. Lesbians, Gay men, and transgendered persons are found in every racial and cultural group. Therefore, it’s possible for an individual elder to face abuse and prejudice based on her age, her race, her gender identity, and her sexual orientation. While such multiple-jeopardy situations are not uncommon, this paper will focus only (and separately) on how Lesbian or Gay sexual orientation and transgendered identity intersect with elder abuse issues.

The Social, Psychological, and Legal Environment of Lesbian and Gay Male Elders

Homophobia

For the generations of Lesbians and Gay men who are now elders, the larger social environment in which they’ve existed can be summed up in one word: homophobic. Homophobia is fear of and/or hatred toward homosexuals. When those who are now elders were growing up, discovering their sexuality, forming relationships, and making a living, homosexuality was viewed as criminal, sinful, and sick. Those known to be homosexual were often fired from jobs, thrown out of their apartments, kicked out of the military, disowned by their families, and beaten by strangers. Businesses known to cater to Gay men and Lesbians were frequent targets of police harassment. Gay men and Lesbians who were working class and/or adopted manners of dress deemed that of the “opposite” sex were particularly brutalized (Marcus, 1992). Lesbian and Gay relationships were (indeed, in most ways still are) completely denied the rights and recognition routinely granted heterosexual marriages.

A few brave Lesbians and Gay men confronted the larger society’s disparagement (Marcus, 1992), but most learned that in order to survive, they must hide their identities and relationships. Indeed the stigma of being Gay or Lesbian is so great for these generations of elders that many of them refuse to label themselves as such. “We identify simply as two women living together in a primary relationship,” said one 75-year-old who had been partnered for 41 years (Johnson, 1991, p. 26). Adelman (1991, p. 30) interviewed another elder who said, “I never wanted to identify with a lesbian group. I just like being with women.”

Social condemnation of people who have relationships or sex with persons of their own gender is so strong that even those who do not identify themselves as Gay or Lesbian, those who do not associate with other known Gays or Lesbians, and those who “come out” (realize they are Gay) late in life nevertheless adopt many of the same protective behaviors and social adaptations as those who have long labelled themselves Gay.

Some of these adaptations are helpful. Some researchers believe, for instance, that Lesbians and Gay men may actually adapt to aging better than some of their heterosexual peers because they’ve learned to build close networks of friends and have a greater range of daily living skills due to their rejection of social gender task proscriptions (Friend, 1991).

Unfortunately, some of these adaptations make older Gay men and Lesbians morevulnerable to abuse, neglect, and exploitation. And none of the adaptations spares Lesbian and Gay male elders from the abuse all elders are vulnerable to, or from the threat of homophobic abuse.

Abuse of Lesbian and Gay Male Elders

Homophobic Abuse

The stories abound. One researcher discussed an older resident of a nursing home whom staff refused to bathe because they didn’t want to touch “the Lesbian” (Raphael, 1997). A social worker reported a case where the home care assistant threatened to “out” her older Gay male client if he reported her negligent care (Roosen, personal communication, May 12, 1997). Older Lesbians and Gay men who choose not to or do not succeed at hiding all traces of their sexual orientation are also subject to street harassment and violence (Visano, 1991).

Domestic Violence

Homophobia also plays a part in domestic violence within Lesbian and Gay couples. A therapist who works with Gay male batterers reports that “the majority…[of the men referred to him] have manifested a negative self- concept related to being homosexual, as well as negative feelings about who they are as a person.” (Byrne, 1996, p. 110) Homophobia is often used as a tool of batterers, who threaten to out their lovers to family or employers (Elliott, 1996).

Fear of Authorities

Most importantly, however, homophobia serves to keep victims from seeking help. Such a move (particularly if the abuser is a lover) might require outing oneself and facing possible hostility from the very people who are supposed to help. If seeking help involves — or might involve — the police, Lesbians and Gay men are especially likely to demur, because being Gay is still illegal in many states and because virtually every older Lesbian and Gay man knows of instances of police brutality against homosexuals (Marcus, 1992).

Legal Barriers

Legal discrimination against Lesbian and Gay male couples makes it harder for elders to afford to leave an abusive relationship. Whereas a heterosexual wife usually has access — albeit sometimes hard-to-obtain access — to her husband’s pension and (in community property states) to half of the couple’s assets regardless of whose name is on the title or account, Lesbians and Gay men have no such rights. An older Gay man who does not have sufficient pension income of his own has no right to a portion of his lover’s, and an older Lesbian whose abusive partner put all their assets in her name (a scenario that is fairly common among couples with an abusive, controlling partner) will lose everything she has worked for her whole life if she leaves.

Self-Neglect by Lesbian and Gay Male Elders

Every state that includes self-neglect in its definition of elder abuse reports that self- neglect makes up a large proportion of the elder abuse problem (Tatara, 1994). In fact, one study (Duke, 1990) found that self- neglect made up 79% of substantiated elder abuse cases. Judging from the experiences of Ruth Morales and George Roosen, caseworkers for San Francisco’s Gay and Lesbian Outreach to Elders, it seems possible that Lesbians and Gay men make up more than their “fair share” of this population. They have several reasons why they believe this is so (personal communication, May 12, 1997).

Internalized Homophobia

All Lesbians and Gay men must struggle to define themselves as worthy and decent human beings in the face of social prejudice that says they are emphatically not worthy and decent (Adelman, 1991). Some never successfully achieve a positive self-definition. Others, facing increasing disabilities, the deaths of lovers and friends, and other drains on their emotional strength, may find their psychological defenses against homophobia disintegrating as they age. Elders who have internalized homophobia come to believe that they are not worthy and respectable people and consequently deserve loneliness, ill health, and poor living conditions. Lacking self- esteem, these elders may be unable to ask for help, and unwilling to accept any help that is offered.

A History of Hiding

The current generations of Lesbian and Gay male elders almost invariably have histories of protecting themselves from social prejudice by hiding who they are. Some contracted heterosexual marriages or took opposite-sex friends to work-related social events. Others “simply” pretended to be single or lied about their hobbies and interests. Many turned down jobs and other opportunities that threatened their efforts to appear heterosexual. Roosen believes that some Lesbian and Gay male elders have so routinely taken extraordinary measures to protect their privacy that the prospect of allowing someone into their homes to provide personal care is unthinkable.

The Value of Independence

Ironically, one of the most adaptive consequences of learning to deal with societal homophobia — cultivating the skills and attitudes to sustain independence — can end up being counter-productive when an elder becomes frail. Because so many Gay men and Lesbians are disowned by family members who learn of their homosexuality and because they are legally deprived of rights to their partners’ earnings and pensions, Lesbians and Gay men tend to highly value self-reliance. Older Lesbians, in particular, often take pride in their ability to be self- supporting. Unfortunately, this independent streak can make accepting help in old age anathema. Consequently, some Lesbian and Gay male elders, Morales believes, simply vastly prefer self- neglect to “becoming dependent.”

Fear of Encountering Homophobia

Finally, Lesbian and Gay male elders may end up self-neglecting in order to protect themselves from others’ homophobia. Isolation is widely viewed as one of the primary risk factors for elder abuse and neglect (Wolf, 1996). Unfortunately, the services set up to connect isolated older people with others are shunned by many Lesbians and Gay men. Morales and Roosen report that many of their clients refuse to attend senior centers or nutrition sites or move into senior housing because they have “nothing in common” with heterosexual peers, whose conversations often include discussions of grandchildren and spouses. They also tend to refuse home care services, fearing that a worker might realize they are Gay and become abusive or try to blackmail them.

Transgendered Elders

Definitions

It is highly unlikely an adult protective services worker will ever encounter an elder who calls him- or herself “transgendered.” This term is relatively new, and its definition is contested. However, it is a useful umbrella term for several types of gender-related identities.

Transsexual. A transsexual is a person assumed to be female at birth who now lives full- time as a male (female-to-male or FTM), or a person assumed to be male at birth who now lives full-time as a female (male-to-female or MTF). Transsexuals may be post-operative, which means they have had one or more surgeries to alter their primary and/or secondary sex characteristics. They may be pre-operative, in that they intend to have one or more surgeries in the future. And they may be non-operative, which means they do not intend to have any gender-related surgeries. Although most transsexuals take hormones to help their bodies visually conform to their gender identity, some do not. Legally, transsexuals may have changed all, some, or none of their identity papers to reflect their “new” gender and (if appropriate) name.

Cross-dresser or transvestite. A cross-dresser or transvestite is a person who dresses part- time or full-time in clothing his or her culture deems as “belonging” to the “opposite” gender. Some people cross-dress as part of a performance, and may be called drag queens or drag kings.

Intersexed (intersexual) or hermaphrodite. Intersexuals (formerly known as hermaphrodites) are persons born with genitals that are not clearly “male” or “female,” or do not look like “typical” genitals.

Transgender(ed). This term is a catch-all for all of the above and for people who feel they cross or blur gender lines, are both female and male or neither. “Butch” Lesbians and “effeminate” Gay men are sometimes included in this category.

Non-congruent Bodies

What nearly all transgendered elders have in common is a body that does not “match” their clothing, presentation, and/or identity. Transsexual genital surgeries only began in the 1940s and 1950s, are extremely expensive and seldom covered by insurance, and — especially in the case of female-to-male transsexuals — have often produced less-than-satisfactory results. Therefore, even transsexual elders are likely to have genitals and (perhaps) other physical features that are not congruent with their sense of who they are. That means transgendered elders will tend to be extremely reluctant to use services — even emergency medical care — that require disrobing.

Transphobia

Social prejudice against transgendered persons (transphobia) is, in many cases, even more intense than that directed against Lesbians and Gay men. Surveys of transgendered persons consistently show an extremely high rate of violent victimization, including higher-than-average rates of street violence and of childhood violence perpetuated by parents and caregivers (Bowen, 1996; Courvant, 1997; Wilchins, 1997). Transgendered persons face prejudice from family members, employers, the general public, and “helping professionals.”

Law enforcement. Like Lesbians and Gay men, transgendered persons generally avoid contact with the police. Transgendered persons have often been the victims of police brutality and negligence, and many stories circulate about what happens in jail when a transgendered person is placed in a sex-segregated group cell.

Health care professionals. Transgendered persons are also subject to health care provider ignorance and prejudice. Even those who specialize in treating transgendered persons often require them to lie and hide. For decades these doctors and therapists required transsexuals to divorce loving spouses, move to new states, and fabricate whole new “life histories” in order to qualify for hormones and surgery. Even today, some surgeons refuse to operate on transsexuals who reveal facts like having borne or sired children. Health care providers who do not specialize in treating transgendered persons are, for the most part, completely ignorant about their health care needs and concerns (Morton, Lewis, Hans and Green, 1997).

Effects of transphobia. Because they face similar social prejudices and degradations, it is likely that transgendered elders face the same elevated risks of elder abuse and self-neglect as their Lesbian and Gay male peers. They may frequently internalize the prejudice against them and come to believe that they are not worthy of decent treatment. Greg Merrill, Director of Client Services at the Community United Against Violence, reports that transgendered victims of domestic violence are the least likely to leave an abusive lover, since they often believe their abuser’s taunts that no one else will ever love and accept them as they are (personal communication, June 17, 1997).

Like Lesbian and Gay elders, transgendered elders may frequently refuse services. They, too, will be exceptionally protective of their privacy. Because of past negative experiences, they may be particularly resistant to dealing with health care professionals, law enforcement, and agencies that may question their legal identity.

Implications for Adult Protective Services

Adult protective services workers, no matter how skilled and caring, cannot begin to negate or compensate for the violence and prejudice Lesbian, Gay male, and transgendered elders face. What they can do is try to be more aware of the perhaps-hidden realities of clients’ lives, and be more skilled at addressing clients’ fears and needs.

Identifying Lesbian and Gay Male Elders

Adult protective services workers do not have to positively identify who among their caseload is Gay in order to properly serve them. Indeed, many Lesbian and Gay male elders would feel distinctly uncomfortable if they felt they were “read” (identified as Gay), and some might deny it if asked. One Gay social worker even recommends not coming out to a suspected Lesbian or Gay male elder if you yourself are Gay, as it puts the elder in the uncomfortable position of feeling pressure to also self-disclose (Roosen, personal communication, May 12, 1997).

Recognize Relationships

Instead, be aware that not all couples are heterosexual. If there is evidence an elder lives with another adult, gently probe as to the nature and length of the relationship. Echo the elder’s language. Is this “friend” or “roommate” someone the elder can count on for care? For financial assistance? If there appears to be a partnership of some sort, you need not determine whether it’s sexual. Simply begin asking the type of questions you would ask a married couple rather than the type of questions you’d ask about a neighbor.

Be Aware of Legal Realities

At the same time, if the client appears to have a same-sex partner, be aware of the lack of legal protections and assumptions these couples have. If the client and partner want the partner to have something as simple as hospital visiting privileges or something as complex as an inheritance, special legal documents may have to be drafted. Even then, the couple may need help getting such documents honored: one lawyer who specializes in elder law and Lesbian and Gay issues reports that a nursing home refused to honor the Power of Attorney he drew up for the Gay lover of a resident (private conversations held at Joint Conference on Law and Aging, 1994).

Listen Especially Carefully

It was easy for the social workers who work with Lesbian and Gay elders to recite instances where adult protective services workers made situations worse. In one case, an older Gay man was moved out of a “dangerous” neighborhood to “nice senior housing.” All of this man’s friends and social contacts were young Gay male hustlers who abandoned him once he moved out of their neighborhood and into a “secure” building, effectively isolating him among people with whom he had nothing in common (Roosen, personal communication, May 12, 1997).

Similarly, what may look to an outsider like an exploitative relationship may, in fact, be quite an acceptable exchange to the people involved. Many older Gay men, in particular, couple with much younger men (Steinman, 1991; Visano, 1991). In one instance reported by Roosen, an older Gay man took in a much younger, Gay addict living with AIDS. The younger man was abusive and exploitative, but after his death the older man reported that he was prouder of having helped that young man than of almost anything else he’d ever done.

Find Respectful Service Providers

Just as an elder from a racial minority culture needs to have service providers who are respectful of her beliefs and practices, Lesbian, Gay male, and transgendered elders need providers who will treat them respectfully. If you suspect an older client is Lesbian, Gay, or transgendered, make sure you find or train service providers who will not denigrate them. In the case of transgendered elders, it is crucial for everyone who comes into contact with the elder to always address them by the name and pronoun they use, regardless of that elder’s genitals or legal identification.

Connect with the Client

One of the interesting findings of Bozinovski’s study of self-neglecting elders (1996) is that many of these elders were strongly identified with their past professions. This seems a fruitful rapport-building area to explore with suspected Lesbian and Gay elders, as these elders often invested a lot in their professional lives (Johnson, 1991). Further rapport can be developed by addressing “friends” or “roommates” as one would a spouse, and by noticing and asking about personal effects such as pictures (just don’t assume the young man in a picture is the client’s son!). If it will work in smoothly, talk about the variety of persons your agency serves.

Connect the Client to the Community

If you get any indication that a client is willing to talk about being Lesbian, Gay, or transgendered, be prepared to assist her or him in locating appropriate resources. Although there are very few programs specifically for Lesbian and Gay elders and none for transgendered elders, there are more and more “Gay retiree” groups, and hundreds of communities have Gay-oriented churches or social groups and/or transgender support groups. The pastors of such churches or leaders of such groups may be willing to arrange for an informal friendly visitor if the elder is homebound. A list of such resources is included below.

Conclusion

Given how much prejudice and violence Lesbian, Gay male, and transgendered elders face, there can be no question that any given APS caseload will include such elders. These clients are likely to be more resistant than other clients to accepting services, due to their fears of being victimized or ridiculed again and of losing especially-valued independence and privacy. When APS workers become more aware of the existence and circumstances of Lesbian, Gay male, and transgendered elders, they should be better able to build rapport with these clients and assist them in getting the services and assistance they need.

References

Adelman, M. (1991). Stigma, gay lifestyles, and adjustment to aging: A study of later-life gay men and lesbians. In J. A. Lee (Ed.), Gay midlife and maturity (pp. 7-32). New York: the Haworth Press.

Bowen, G. (1996). Violence and health survey. (Available from American Boyz, P.O. Box 1118, Elkton, MD 21922-1118)

Bozinovski, S.D. (1996, November). Self-neglect among elders: A struggle for self- continuity. Paper presented at conference of the National Association of Adult Protective Services Administrators, Austin, TX.

Buxton, A.P. (1994). The other side of the closet: The coming-out crisis for straight spouses and families (revised edition). New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Byrne, D. (1996). Clinical models for the treatment of gay male perpetrators of domestic violence. In C. M. Renzetti & C. H. Miley (Eds.), Violence in gay and lesbian domestic partnerships (pp. 107-116). New York: Harrington Park Press.

Courvant, D. (1997). Domestic violence and the sex- or gender-variant survivor.(Available from the Survivor Project, 5028 NE 8th, Portland, OR 97211)

Cruikshank, M. (1991). Lavender and gray: A brief survey of lesbian and gay aging studies. In J. A. Lee (Ed.), Gay midlife and maturity (pp. 77-87). New York: The Haworth Press.

Duke, J. (1996). Study found 79% of adult protective services cases were self-neglect. Aging, 367, 42-43.

Elliott, P. (1996). Shattering the illusions: Same-sex domestic violence. In C. M. Renzetti & C. H. Miley (Eds.), Violence in gay and lesbian domestic partnerships (pp. 1-8). New York: Harrington Park Press.

Flynn, E. & Choe, C. (1996, June 26). Down by law. San Francisco Bay Guardian. Friend, R.A. (1991). Older lesbian and gay people: A theory of successful aging. In J. A. Lee (Ed.), Gay midlife and maturity (pp. 99-118). New York: The Haworth Press.

Johnson, S.E. (1990). Staying power: Long term lesbian couples. Tallahassee, Florida: The Naiad Press.

Marcus, E. (1992). Making history: The struggle for gay and lesbian elder rights, 1945- 1990, An oral history. New York: Harper Collins.

Morton, S., Lewis, Y., Hans, A., & Green, J. (1997). FTM 101 — The invisible transsexual. (Available from FTM International, Inc., 1360 Mission Street, Suite 200, San Francisco, CA 94103)

Raphael, S. (1997, June). Lesbian and gay elders. Paper presented at a conference of the National Center on Elder Abuse, Long Beach, CA.

Steinman, R. (1991). Social exchanges between older and younger gay male partners. In J. A. Lee (Ed.), Gay midlife and maturity (pp. 179-206). New York: The Haworth Press.

Tatara, T. (1994). Elder abuse: Questions and answers (4th ed.) (Booklet). Washington, D.C.: The National Center on Elder Abuse.

Visano, L.A. (1991). The impact of age on paid sexual encounters. In J. A. Lee (Ed.), Gay midlife and maturity (pp. 207-226). New York: The Haworth Press.

Wilkins, R.A. (1997). First national survey on transviolence. (Available from GenderPac, 274 West 11th St., #30, New York, NY 10014)

Wolf, R.S. (1996). Understanding elder abuse and neglect. Aging, 367, 4-9.

2000, amboyz.org

Gay and Bisexual Men and HIV Risk

Should the Education System Feel Responsible?

The discussion of homophobia and the actual risk of HIV to the population is always a heated debate, but it becomes a muddier and more frustrating topic when words like “men who have sex with men” (MSM) and “bisexual” are used—and these words are used frequently in studies conducted by the Center for Disease control on AIDs and HIV. The statistics on diagnoses of HIV in 2010 indicate that gay, bisexual, or MSM men whom comprise about 2% of the population account for about 63% of diagnoses in the United States. But the word “about” is the confusing part. It is not exactly clear how many of these men are straight men that have engaged in homosexual acts, and perhaps one might wonder if these men are admitting to homosexual behavior because they are seeking treatment for HIV. Are we certain these men were included in the estimated 2%? Most new diagnoses of HIV occur in young men between 13-24 years of age… they comprised a jaw-dropping 72% of the gay and bisexual men diagnosed with HIV in 2010. Of these individuals, an incredibly large percent of them are African American male youth from disadvantaged backgrounds. Their reported sexual orientation is not the reason that they have contracted the disease, but rather a lack of sexual education and resources for gay men and youths is to blame.

HIV is not a consequence of homosexual behavior, but a consequence of risky sexual behavior (and in some cases drug use). Is that what men who have sex with men are doing, inflating the CDC’s estimates of homosexuals and bisexuals with HIV? Perhaps, but not because MSM are given to more wanton sexual behavior. This term can describe a situation where a man is sexually attracted to another man for any number of reasons but still identifies as straight. He isn’t bisexual because he doesn’t judge himself to be bisexual, and from a positive psychological perspective of identity this is what matters. He may think he is only capable of committing to a woman in a romantic way, or he may not feel equally attracted to both sexes, but either way he is not homophobic and in denial of his identity. In all probability these men have diverse sexual habits because of the broad category of relationships it can describe.

Obviously some high-risk sexual behaviors, particularly those occurring between men under the influence of drugs or alcohol, are being thrown into this category of men who have sex with men. These encounters would probably not meet most standards for “romantic” behaviors between men, and it is horribly unfair that they are counted among the estimates for new diagnoses of HIV in gay and bisexual men. The rampant homophobic attitudes that prevent awareness campaigns and resources from being accessed in some communities would like us to think that all gay men are having random encounters. The bitter irony is that this fear-mongering promotes carelessness, especially in younger people who need to be educated on what exactly “high-risk sexual behavior” is.

It’s an unsavory topic, but teenagers are having sex. The academic world has come a long way in its attitude towards homosexuality recently by including LGBT alliance and awareness groups in schools, but we need to take a more aggressive attitude towards sexual education in schools. Sexual education needs to be taught in every classroom, and the earlier that teens get it the better off they are. The LGBT community is not taking up enough time in classroom discussions of sexuality. The education system cannot tiptoe around topics like “men who have sex with men” and “homosexuality”. There is no end to the number of mistakes a teenager can make without appropriate guidance from the education system. We were all there once… we have to be honest with ourselves. Blaming stupidity and thinking that the actions of wayward teens don’t affect us is our right, but the astoundingly high numbers of new HIV diagnoses portray the denial of these youths by our culture—they are parallel minds that we just won’t accept responsibility for. Rather than scapegoating the underprivileged communities that raise them, efforts to raise LGBT awareness need to expand beyond home. Community effort needs to mean national effort and then global effort. Bridging the gap between LGBT communities and underprivileged communities created by HIV is the key to fighting this epidemic. If there is anything you can do, don’t hesitate.

MSM, Gay, and Bisexual Men and HIV Risk: Should the Education System Feel Responsible?
Dr. M. Mirza – lgbt health wellness .com – 2014

Swedish Migration Agency Officers Loves Vacations

When you have lost all your expectations, you can only care about your life; I mean “breathing, eating and sleeping” without any feeling, like an animal.

I am a gay man from Turkey, the vacation paradise for most Europeans and tourists. I don’t know if we can calculate an “average human lifetime”, but if it were 75 years, I already spent 1/3rd of it hiding myself and begging for respect and acceptance in this paradise. I gladly accept that, okay, my country is geographically heavenly, but nobody should forget this: a place could only be livable when you know and love everyone who lives there.

I am a young gay who is not able to feel young anymore. I wasted 25 years of my life for just acceptance of others. I heard this kind of advice a million times from Swedes: “why do you care what others think, it’s your life…” But trying to get this acceptance is not for love, it’s about surviving.

Discrimination gets in the way of pride in daily life, and I experienced every kind of it. I was never able to be who I am in public, in school, with my family. I tried to live in different cities in Turkey before coming to Sweden. It was not easy to say goodbye to everything I had. Every city in Turkey has different kinds of people, who mostly think the same about gays. Some of them assessed me as a sinner, some of them as a pervert, some of them as a shame, some of them as worthless, but it was the very rare person I ever met in my life who assessed me as a human.

“But then, I was moving less to win their love and more to avoid my family.”

Swedes have also asked me many times “why is it such a big deal for the families, it’s none of their business”. Yes, in my paradise it is a big deal. “Disowning” and “discrimination” – these words sounded lovely to me, because at least they would have meant I wasn’t going to get murdered.

The police are liable to protect everyone in the country; I experienced that their “everyone” does not include me. Once I went to a police station after being attacked by four people in Istanbul – which is a metropolis and which should be more accepting than other cities – because for a moment I walked hand in hand with a man. They laughed at me, “what did you expect, of course they will throw bottles at you; you didn’t expect them to throw flowers did you?” … Did I?

Another time I spoke to police on a street in Istanbul in the early morning hours. They stopped me without any reason and one of them started to humiliate and bully me, saying the usual things. I was scared, but then I suddenly also was furious and I answered him “yes I am gay, I am a faggot, why – do you want to test what I am for yourself?”; I was up against a car the moment after that under the policeman’s hands. After these two lovely meetings with policemen, trusting the police is over for me.

At the Swedish migration board they asked if the Turkish courts can protect me. This is a country where a 13 year old girl, N.Ç., was raped by 26 different men, most older than her father. She had to have four surgeries because of it. The judge told her, “oh my daughter, why did you seduce these men?” He didn’t punish these men for rape. The court only sentenced them for having (consensual!) sex with a girl under the age of 15. It’s still kind of a nightmare for me. I can’t imagine the girl’s nightmares.

But think about it for a moment: if they can’t see that a 13-year-old girl is innocent and needs protection, how do you think they view an adult man like me, having sex with men?

I was studying to be a teacher, but it became impossible because of gossip spreading. Nobody saw me with a man, but gossip is enough to ruin you and put your life at risk. A career would now be impossible because according to them, nobody wants to work with a “bad role model, perverse, abject teacher”.

I will never be able to demand my family’s protection and love; their traditions and their religion are both on me. I am a dirt stain on their family tree, the family’s blood; the only way to clean this blood is by killing me. They can survive without me but they can’t survive without their priceless honour.

I tried to change these people, but their minds didn’t allow me; it goes too deep. I wasted 25 years just hiding reality. I need a little bit freedom, I need hold a man’s hand while I am walking, I need a measure of respect.

Now, tell me: how can I call this country a paradise, as lovely European vacationers did? Don’t speak about life in Turkey based on what travel guides say.

Anil Absolution

Greece’s First Openly Gay Minister

Nicholas Yatromanolakis has made history by becoming Greece’s first openly gay minister in a cabinet reshuffle in the center-right government.

Nicholas Yatromanolakis, 44, has been promoted from the position of general secretary at the ministry to become the new minister of culture.

Alexis Patelis, the Greek Prime Minister’s chief economic advisor said in a tweet that, it was a “historic day for LGBTI+ representation, a big win for meritocracy and better decision-making through diversity”.

“Congrats to Nicholas Yatromanolakis for showing you can be yourself and still succeed,” he added. “May others draw strength to live their life openly.”

Nicholas Yatromanolakis’ Political Life

Before entering politics in 2014 as a founding member of the now-defunct centrist party Potami, Yatromanolakis worked in marketing and communications for companies including Microsoft and has a masters in public policy from Harvard.

“For a long time … I felt I had to choose and that there were identities that could never be compatible with one another,” said Yatromanolakis, who left To Potami in 2016 and joined the government in 2019.

He rejected the suggestion that his appointment to the culture ministry might be viewed as tokenism.

“People do not understand and see that the (cultural) sector… creates jobs, creates opportunities,” said Yatromanolakis, who used to work for a cultural center housing the country’s national opera and library.

He said his priorities in the job included channeling state financial aid to people working in the arts during the pandemic.

Asked what measures the government could take to support LGBTI+ people, Yatromanolakis said he wanted better implementation of existing anti-discrimination laws, including training in private companies and government bodies.

“No person growing up should feel they have to choose between who they are and what they want to become in life,” he said.

“I wish someone else was first before me … (but) if this helps people who have problems because of who they are … then it’s worth it.”

Children Raised By Same-Sex Couples Healthier

A study released out of Melbourne University in Australia found that children raised by same sex couples are healthier and enjoy a better sense of well-being than their peers. This study, called the biggest of its type so far, sought to “describe the physical, mental and social well-being” of children raised by gay and lesbian parents. It also sought to understand “the impact that stigma has on them.” In terms of family cohesion and general health, children of gay parents scored 6% higher than their heterosexual counterparts. Researchers also found that in terms of behavior, self-esteem and mental health, gay parent’s children were about the same as those raised by hetero parents.

Speaking on CNBC, Dr. Simon Crouch said, “It appears that same-sex parent families get along well and this has a positive impact on health.” Crouch is from the Jack Brockhoff Child Health and Wellbeing Program, Centre for Health Equity at the University of Melbourne. Crouch thinks the focus gay parents have on skill building rather than on traditional gender roles may account for the conclusion of the survey. Certainly, a more accepting and less discriminatory attitude in Australian society, as in other Western societies, may also play a role.

“So what this means is that people take on roles that are suited to their skill sets rather than falling into those gender stereotypes,” Crouch said. “What this leads to is a more harmonious family unit and therefore feeding on to better health and wellbeing.”

315 parents and 500 children participated in this study. Previous research has also found that children raised by same-sex couples grew up healthy with a solid sense of well-being. In fact, an earlier report out by the Williams Institute found that children raised by lesbian couples had higher self-esteem and less disciplinary problems. Another study conducted in 2012 entitled “Adolescents with Lesbian Mothers Describe Their Own Lives,” found that those teens raised by two moms maintained good GPAs. They also have strong bonds to their moms.

Dr. M. Mirza – lgbt health wellness .com – 2014

Hygiene And Aging

Let’s face it, we humans are visual creatures and we live within a culture that is obsessed with looks. No matter what our age, our race, our nationality, or what our creed is, we as a people are constantly pressured by the media and by celebrity culture to stay fit and young looking. This constant pressure to stay young makes dealing with the reality of the aging process hard for many people, especially gay men.

As we all know, the gay culture places an extreme importance on looks. For example, some of the most highly sought after bodily features within the gay community are youthful white skin, flat stomachs and six-pack abs. What if, however, you don’t naturally have any of those features? What if, for example, you are Asian, Black or Latino with dark skin, a pudgy stomach and man boobs? Is there any hope for you in finding love? The short answer is yes, of course there is hope for you in finding love! The long answer is that there is indeed hope for you, but in a society that is primarily focused on looks, you will have to make some sacrifices to be able to compete in dating. The most important thing, though, is that you are comfortable and confident in your own skin no matter what other people think of you.

It doesn’t take very much money or energy to properly take care of yourself, to stay fit and to fight against aging. The most important things to keep in mind are to stay hydrated, to stay moisturized, to stay active and to constantly protect yourself against the sun. It is important to note here that the sun is the number one cause of premature aging and skin cancer and it is for this reason that we should be wearing sunscreen of at least SPF 30 or above every day. Keep in mind that with most sunscreens you will need to reapply them after a certain amount of time. You should drink at least half a gallon to a gallon of water every day and you should also use a hydrating moisturizer on your entire body every day, twice a day (morning and night). Don’t forget to brush your teeth twice a day (morning and night) and floss at least once a day. It is also important to note that you don’t have to join a gym to stay active. For example, being active can include walking around your neighborhood once a day for thirty minutes or taking a weekly dance class or a Yoga class. How you stay active is up to you!

The reality for all of humanity is that with each passing day we age and we get older and as we age and we get older, it gets harder and harder to stay young and fit. This is why it is so important that we take care of ourselves and our bodies in our youth so that when we get older we won’t have to worry about staying young and fit because we already will be.

By: K. Frank

Dealing With Homophobic Family

Dealing with homophobic people in general is difficult, but when those people are your family it hurts. Unfortunately, in most cases, you will not be able to change the views of your homophobic family members regarding your sexuality, especially if their homophobia stems from their religion.

The best you can do is to temporarily distance yourself from said homophobic family members for two reasons:

1.) You need to get away from the toxicity and stress that your family members cause you due to your sexuality, and

2.) You need to take a step back and educate yourself on why your family members are the way they are so that you can fully understand their perspectives. It could be that it isn’t necessarily you they dislike, it’s the homosexual stereotypes and stigma. For most people, homophobia stems from a lack of factual knowledge about homosexuality.

Once you’ve distanced yourself from your homophobic family members and taken a step back to understand their perspectives, then you can take the next steps in calmly confronting them on their behavior and educating them. Most conservative or religious people will not willingly seek out or accept factual information regarding sexuality, so please be sure to be mindful of this when confronting your family members on their homophobic behavior if they are conservative or religious. Understand that the homophobia will not go away in a day, a week, or in some cases, ever. Remember, the most you can do is to distance yourself, take a step back and understand their perspective, confront them and then educate them. After that, the rest is up to them.

In life family is all that we have, so while it may be okay to temporarily distance yourself from your family in pursuit of ridding your life of homophobia, remember to not distance yourself from your family forever. Sometimes it takes distancing yourself from people for them to appreciate you and for them to realize that they are missing out on having you in their lives for such a trivial and ignorant reason; a reason that neither you nor they can change.

Personal Advice

Gay and Coming Out of the Closet

There are few set rules to this often harrowing experience, mostly there are merely guidelines based on the experiences of others, but from the knowledge of many of those experiences, including my own, this article has been written with an aim to help those considering “coming out”. Of the few rules there are, one hard and fast one is to always do what you think is best for you – but to do it considerately.

Another is that before even contemplating coming out to anyone, especially to your family, you do need to be absolutely sure in yourself that you really are gay. Don’t base anything on just a few pleasurable experiences you may have had with someone of the same sex.

Straight people do sometimes experiment (as many as two in every five males will have same-sex at some time in their lives – statistics that are a blessing to many a gay man) and they do often enjoy it – so be thoroughly sure before dropping what to some people might be a bombshell! Few will thank you later for a: “Whoops! I got it wrong!” Once you have completely accepted that you are gay then the whole coming out issue raises its ugly head.

You will find yourself questioning:

Do I really need to tell anyone? Should I try to keep it a secret?

Should I tell my parents? And if so – both of them, or just one of them – at least at first?

How about my brothers and sisters; the rest of the family; and my friends – should they all be told?

Then there’s the people at work – do they need to know?

Each person’s situation will be different, and only they will have the best idea of who, if anybody, they should tell. Some people will feel it is best to tell everyone – others to tell no-one. Some won’t want to tell either one, or both, of their parents because they “know” it would devastate them, or they would simply never understand, whilst others may conclude it is best to keep it under wraps at work.

With friends, especially close ones, you may think you know who you could, and who you could not, confide in. It is you and you alone who will be the best judge of each situation, but you will need to have done some groundwork on which to base your conclusions. An obvious way if you are unsure of someone is to pass a casual non-judgemental comment on something gay that is in the newspaper or on the television (there’s usually something around most times) to see how they react.

If you do decide to come out to someone, then this is no time to rush into anything. You will need to pick a good time to tell them – a time when neither of you are busy or are likely to be disturbed. Don’t be tempted to undertake the task when you, or they, are the worse for drink. Don’t prepare a speech or a lecture full of baffling statistics – just try to be your usual self and converse as you normally would.

Do try to get it across that your coming out changes nothing, that you are still exactly the same person you were before telling them, and that the only one thing that has changed is that they now know your true sexuality. Assure them that you still love them / like them / need them the same as you always have done, and tell them that you hope upon hope that they can come to terms with your sexuality and accept you for what you really are, just as you had to.

Do be prepared for questions, some of which you may not know the answers to – in which case be honest; don’t attempt to blag it. And do be prepared for the unexpected; for things to go badly wrong. They don’t often, but they can. If you are living with parents and you decide to tell them, then no matter how sure you may be that they will take it okay, it is sensible to have somewhere else lined up where you could stay for a while – just in case.

This is one reason why my advice for anyone under sixteen is to wait until they are old enough to leave home. That way there are no legal complications if it all goes terribly wrong, life becomes unbearable, and they need to spend a few nights away from home. A major reason for a lot of people coming out is to stop all those embarrassing questions like: “When are you going to find a nice girl and settle down?” As this doesn’t usually apply to anyone in their early teens, a time when most lads still go “out with the boys” and anything they might do is likely to be seen as a fad or a mere phase that they are going through, it is probably prudent to wait for a few years.

But whatever age you are, if you do come out and it does all go tits up it is imperative that you don’t get into a heated argument or a full blown row – be man enough to walk away. A little time will often improve matters, so make sure you stay in touch. Never burn your bridges. Worrying about how coming out might affect you, the way it may affect others sometimes gets overlooked.

Here’s a few issues regarding your parents that you may need to understand and address: It is natural for mothers to eagerly look forward to their grandchildren and, especially if you are an only child, they may feel they are going to miss out on a large part of their lives. Occasionally a father may feel that his masculinity has been put in question by producing a gay son and there may be some, albeit even subconscious or hidden, resentment that you have made it public knowledge.

Your parents, searching for a reason, may come to believe that you are gay directly as a result of them raising you incorrectly – they may hold themselves responsible and feel guilty. Unless you’re cruel and don’t care about your parents, these issues need addressing with a lot of love and support. Keep them involved in your life as much as possible, let them see that you are happy with your lifestyle, and be involved in their lives too, but do respect their wishes when it comes to meeting your gay boyfriends – some will want to meet them; some won’t in the early days but will come around to it later; and just a few will wish to carry on as if nothing had been said – with the word “gay” never mentioned again in front of them.

In the event the coming out to your parents goes really badly, despite any animosity you need to remember (for they will) that you are still their son. They may hate your lifestyle, they may not understand it, they may not be able to come to terms with it, but they will always love you as their son even though they may tell you different and not be showing it at that time.

Don’t give up on trying to build bridges – one day one will probably reach them. Whilst it is possible to come out to your parents, and sometimes even to the wider family, without others including your friends knowing about you, the reverse may not necessarily be as true. Unless you live away from your family and nobody that knows you works (goes to college / uni) where you do, in time there is a likelihood that rumour or word will get back to someone you would have preferred not to have known.

It only takes one friend to unwittingly tell someone, perhaps someone who has revealed an interest in you, that you bat for the other side for the word to spread like wildfire as they do their “Did you know…?” bit to all their friends and family. Remember: once you have come out, even if it is to only one person, you no longer have a secret and you must be prepared for others to find out about you at any time. For this reason I have always considered it best to come out to everybody, but you may feel differently.

There are some people who, when they weigh it all up, decide it is best for their circumstances to keep their sexuality a total secret and to not come out at all. It can work, but it’s not without some consequences. For years these people will have to suffer family and friends frequently asking them when they are going to meet the right girl and settle down. In time they may even find that strange liaisons are being arranged as they are invited to dinner parties and paired off at the table with an endless stream of left on the shelf girls.

It can all get a bit embarrassing, and when that doesn’t work, and there’s still no girlfriend in sight, at least one person will at some time come right out with it and ask them point blank if they are gay. What then? Do they lie to them, and thereafter really live a lie? And if they do, how do they feel about lying to their friends and family – those people who love them?

Sometimes not coming out can be as hard as actually coming out – only it lasts longer! I have particularly covered coming out to the parents and family most in this article because I believe them to be the most important – you cannot change your family whereas your friends you can, and probably will, change many times throughout your lifetime. If a friend can’t accept your sexuality, then how good a friend are they?

You are better off finding another friend. And anyway, if you’ve come out, or are coming out, you’ll probably already have a lot of gay friends, or be seeking them, so the loss of an old friend won’t matter that much. Every year gay people are accepted a little more, and so every year it becomes a little easier for those considering coming out. Nevertheless to most faced with the task the experience can still be very unnerving – a little like a first flight in an aircraft or a first solo performance on stage to a massive audience, but more so.

You know it’s all been done before; it’s done on a daily basis and rarely does anything go wrong. You know by all the odds that afterwards you will feel relieved, and proud of yourself – but even knowing all that doesn’t help you much. Some of the ways I benefited from coming out may help you: There was an instant relief that I didn’t have to hide anything anymore – I could be my true self.

No more did I have to look over my shoulder and scan the street before going into a gay pub; no more did I have to check out who was in WH Smiths before buying the Gay Times; no more did the pictures on my walls have to reflect the straight world – up went the hunks! And no more did I have to cringe in horror in case someone I knew saw the obvious camp queen cooeying hello across the street at me.

Then there was the pleasure of being able to tell a girl who had been after getting the pants off me for months that I was gay, instead of coming up with yet another excuse why we shouldn’t be doing it, and an even greater pleasure in putting on an outrageously camp voice (it’s not the usual me) to a good friend’s over-sexed and persistent wife who once more was playing tootsies under the table. “Dhaaarling! I’m gay and I don’t do fish suppers!” I screamed. He looked; she fled – and I was never bothered again.

Getting back to the more serious side, being completely out it was no surprise to anyone when I turned up at all the works parties with my male partner. No more did I have to find excuses and miss out on such things – it also started a bit of a trend as two others began to bring their male partners along too! And with my partner, as an out gay couple, we were able to go to both of our respective family’s celebrations, weddings, funerals and Christmas parties as a part of that family.

You could say that coming fully out allowed us to enjoy a normal life similar to that of any heterosexual couple – apart from that what we did in bed. All our neighbours accepted us. They loved our gay parties and barbecues to which we always invited them (some would even help out with the cooking and the preparations – we were no fools!) and they in return would invite us and many of our gay friends to their parties.

I cannot imagine living my life in any other way than being totally out and honest. What you see is what you get, and if you don’t like it – tough! I know that not everybody will feel that my way could be their way, but if they are considering it and think it might be for them then I am living proof that it can work.

There is so much I would not have done, and so much life I would have missed out on, had I remained even partially in the closet. A few tips: It will be easier to come out if you already have gay friends who will help and support you. If you have a boyfriend who is happy to come out with you (or is already out) it will be even easier.

If you are setting up home with a partner, and you are out to your parents, get your mothers to help you move in – they’ll do all the outing needed to the neighbours and give you a “legitimacy” – you’ll have no problems. Finally, and I believe the most important tip of all: Always try to live your life with compassion, but the way that YOU want to live it. It is your life and yours alone – and you are only given the one. To waste even a moment of it is to miss so much. Be lucky!

M. Knell

This article has been written by a gay man, one who has been out to all for most of his lifetime and during which time he has been a supporter of the Campaign for LGBTI+ Equality.

Where Is Gay Marriage Legal?

Gay marriages, often also referred to as same-sex marriages, have been a contentious issue all over the world, especially in countries, where both the debate and debaters are to interact at a very public forum. Over the years, many arguments have been put forward in support of and against the legalization of gay marriages, each based upon by a volley of opinions coming from different schools of thought.

When examining the nature of debate over the question of legality regarding gay marriages, there are three main generic divisions within which the arguments regulate – biological, social and religious. If we consider the biological debate, the arguments from each side are not unexpectedly novel or unique. Those opposed to gay marriage argue that homosexuality is against the natural norms of procreation. The male and female species are anatomically designed to interact physically in harmony to lead to the creation of human off-springs. In that sense, the sexual interaction between the same sexes is against the laws of nature, and thus unacceptable in the social context of a healthy living community. On the other hand, gay activists propose that for those people who do not consider the lack of ability to procreate a set-back in any way, a homosexual relationship and its legal acceptance should not be an issue. While there are multiple sub-clauses to these arguments as well, the gist of the divergence lies in the question of procreation.

The social and religious facets of this debate concerning same-sex marriages are largely so interlinked. People of the Catholic religious tradition belief that homosexuality is against the tenets of the Bible. Thus, those involved in gay relationships are in complete violation of the Christian religious ideology.

l. Therefore, homosexuality and its legal sanction is not in any way a rejection or violation of any religious sensibilities. Either way, since there is no way in which to come upon an interpretation of the Bible that shall be acceptable to both the anti-gay and pro-gay sects of the agenda, it is hard to reach any nature of conclusion on this aspect of debate.

The social aspect of the debate on homosexuality is somewhat linked with both the biological and religious debate. Those who are not in favor of legalizing of gay marriage argue that since homosexuality is ‘unnatural’ and ‘a desecration of Christian Dictates’, legalizing same-sex unions shall lead to the spread of this socio-sexual anomaly in society. Providing legal sanction to same-sex marriages shall cause more and more people to believe that homosexuality is not a deviation from what is healthy and desirable, thus leading to the degradation of society. Those in support of the legalizing gay marriage argue that sexual orientation may be either an inherent preference or a personal life-style choice. Either way, any free individual should be at liberty to indulge in a relationship of homosexual nature, just as people can free have heterosexual relationships. Since gay people are not in any way less human than heterosexuals, and nor do their relationships have lesser or more sanctity than those of the latter, there is no reason why their marital union should not be illegal.

While there is no end to the debate on homosexuality and its legal sanction. While the judicial response has been varied in different regions, there is a general trend of homosexuality gaining more acceptances over the past decade.

1. In 2001, the Netherlands became the first country to legalize same-sex marriages.
2. Belgium followed suit in 2003 and granted equal rights to same-sex married couples.
3. Canada, In 2005, the Canadian Parliament passed legislation making same-sex marriage legal nationwide.
4. Spain, Also in 2005, a closely divided Spanish parliament agreed to do the same.
5. After South Africa‘s highest court ruled the country’s marriage laws violated the constitution’s guarantee of equal rights, parliament legalized same-sex marriage in 2006.
6. In 1993 Norway allowed gay couples to enter civil unions, but it took until 2008 for a Norway to pass a gender-neutral marriage law.
7. In 2009, Sweden voted overwhelmingly in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage.
8. Iceland‘s parliament voted unanimously to legalize same-sex marriage in 2010.
9. Portugal has also allowed same-sex marriage since 2010, after legislation was originally challenged by the country’s president.
10. In 2010, Argentina became the first Latin American country to allow same-sex marriage.
11. Denmark‘s legalization came in 2012 after Queen Margrethe II gave her royal assent to the proposed legislation.
12. Uruguay passed legislation allowing same-sex marriage in 2013.
13. In 2013, New Zealand became the first country in the Asia-Pacific to legislate for same-sex marriage.
14. President Francois Hollande signed a measure legalizing marriage equality in France in 2013.
15. Brazil’s National Council of Justice ruled that same-sex couples should not be denied marriage licenses in 2013, allowing same-sex marriages to begin across the country.
16. England and Wales became the first countries in the UK to pass marriage equality in 2014.
17. Scotland voted overwhelmingly in favor of of legalizing same-sex marriage later in 2014.
18. Luxembourg overwhelmingly approved legislation to allow gay and lesbian couples to wed and to adopt children that went into effect in 2015.
19. Finland approved a marriage equality bill in 2014.
20. Ireland became the first country to legalize same-sex marriage through a popular vote in 2015.
21. Greenland, the world’s biggest island, passed same-sex legislation in 2015.
22. The United States Supreme Court made marriage equality federal law in 2015.
23. Colombia became the fourth Latin American country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2016.
24. In 2017, Germany became the 15th European country to allow same-sex couples to wed.
25. In 2017, nearly all of Malta‘s parliament voted in favor of legalizing same-sex marriage.
26. Australia legalized same-sex marriage in 2017 after lawmakers enacted the will of the majority of citizens who overwhelmingly voted for the measure by postal vote.
27. Taiwan made history on May 24, 2019, becoming the first place in Asia to pass laws on marriage equality.
28. Ecuador‘s highest court approved same-sex marriage in a 5-4 ruling.
29. Costa Rica became the first Central American country to legalize same-sex marriage on May 26, 2020.

The column contains personal comments.

Lesbian seeking gay man for marriage

The app, called Queers, allows gay men to connect to a network of over 4000 lesbians in order to enter into a ‘co-operative marriage’.

The agreement which is referred to as a ‘xinghun’ in China, operates much like the Western notion of a beard, whereby a person may date someone in order to conceal their sexuality.

Users of the app have explained a xinghun allows them to continue with the appearance of heterosexuality and conceal their sexuality from oftentimes conservative parents.

Although China decriminalised homosexuality in 1997, many of the nation’s older generation still view being lesbian or gay as a mental illness (China removed the classification of homosexuality as a mental disorder in 2001).

Founder of Queers, Liao Zhuoying said since the app launched two weeks ago, he has had over 10,000 users sign up.

Liao said Queers was a by-product of his company’s dating and meet-up apps, Gaypark and Lespark. He told the South China Post he had noticed a section of gay men were searching for lesbian wives whilst on his sites so he conducted a survey to canvas the needs of his community and Queers was born…