Third Gender – news.lgbti.org

Sex and the Third Gender

Author’s note: The opinions expressed herein came out of my and my friends’ filthy minds. They do not necessarily represent the opinions of the entirety of the transgender community and their often stick-in-the-mud medical caregivers. If you don’t like it, don’t read it.

So this is my first column about one of the most tense and tricky subjects on earth, somewhere in there next to abortion and nuclear disarmament – transgender sexuality. We transgendered folk put in an awful lot of work to convince everyone – doctors, researchers, theoreticians, churches, parents, potential lovers, etc. – that being transgendered is not about sexual preference. It isn’t the “end of the gay continuum”, or anything like that. It has nothing to do with how we have sex, or want to have sex, or who we want to have it with. We’re just now getting them to believe it…well, some of them, anyway.

Yet we do have sex; most of us anyway. Sure, some of us are too mired in body dysphoria and the pain of having the “wrong genitals” to cope with it, and some of us don’t have understanding partners, or any partners at all. Yet most of the trannies (and I use that term affectionately) that I know do have sex lives, although our activities may not resemble those of most people. Yes, we fuck. Some of us fuck like bunnies, and we manage to do it while navigating a swamp of body discomfort and alienation, sometimes dragging along bewildered partners or would-be partners for the ride.

Whenever I come out to anyone, the first thing they do – or want to do – is stare at my crotch. Their eyes almost involuntarily flicker down to there, even if I’m sitting on the other side of a table and the only thing they can catch sight of is my meal. When I get up, they make sure to take a surreptitious look. They want to know: what do I have down there, and what do I do with it? Some will be blunt, with more or less obnoxiousness: “Hey, do you have a dick? Did you have the surgery?” Instead of being appalled or offended at their assumption that my genitals are their business, I prefer a different approach that nearly always gets rid of them: a mysterious smile and the comment, “You seem very interested in what’s between my legs. I’ll tell you about it, but you have to promise to get down on your knees and suck it, no matter what it is.” Works like a charm, every time. So far no one’s called my bluff.

When they see me with my wife, who’s a male-to-female transsexual, their eyes go back and forth, back and forth, and I know what they’re thinking. What do they have? What do they do with it? How the hell do they get it on? Does it look like anything I’d recognize? Once, after I’d read a rather graphic poem about our sexual practices at an erotic poetry reading, a guy sidled up to me and confessed he’d always wondered about it. I generally look ‘em in the eye and smile as evilly as possible, saying silently to them, yeah, I know you’re wondering, and you’re not likely to find out, except that we’re obviously having more fun than most people.

The hard truth of the matter is that those of us who have opted to change their bodies do have different anatomy from most single-gendered people, and they know it. Our anatomy may vary; some of us have full genital surgery, some partial, some none at all, and the reasons can range from price to preference to not wanting to jeopardize one’s orgasmic capacity. Transwomen may still have their original phalli (which they may or may not be able/willing to use in the normal way), or they may have their testicles removed, or an entire vaginoplasty, which may or may not have sensation. Transmen may have phalloplasties (which may or may not work), or they may have metaoidioplasties (which is sort of like phalloplasty lite; you get balls and a little tiny cock that still works), or, like me and most transmen in this country, they may be making do with their original genitals, with the modification of testosterone-enlarged clits. And some may hate having their hole touched, and some may love being banged there. We’re a cussed and finicky bunch, we are. (But we’re worth it.)

This smorgasbord of bits and pieces doesn’t help the bewildered non-trans person who’s staring at us across the room and….considering. Assuming you’ve gotten past the initial Eeek! reaction, your next thought after “What the hell do they do in bed?” might, just might, move on to: “Wow…what might they do in *my* bed?” If you’re adventurous, you might try to picture it. Let me tell you now, the likelihood of getting the actuality right, especially if you’re looking at your first tranny, is pretty low. But don’t let that discourage you. The sacred androgyne is still within your realm of possibilities, but you’d better be open-minded, open to negotiation, and have a good imagination.

At a workshop I did at the Boston Bisexual conference four years ago in Boston, most of the people attending were men who were interested in picking up male-to-female transsexuals, and wanted to know how to go about it. No mention was made of female-to-males, and most people had no idea what to do with either of us. (Further columns will follow on how best to approach, pick up, and treat in bed both of our nonstandard genders; be patient.) Still, I’ve seen a growing awareness in our community that there are some people out there who find us interesting not in spite of, but because of what we are. My friend and former lover Heather calls her kind “transfrienders”; if we folks of nonstandard gender and anatomy get you hot under the collar, you just might be one.

As a pornographer, a lot of what I used to see in TG porn fell into two categories. Both dealt only with MTFs (male-to-females), and FTMs were, as usual, MIA. One was transvestite porn, with its ten basic subplots of forced feminization and mothers cross-dressing their sons. After spending a whole day reading one friend’s extensive collection, I found my eyes (and my brain) glazing over. The other type is more visual; “chicks with dicks” do their thing with guys who apparently don’t want to admit they’re bisexual – they want to suck dick, and maybe even be fucked with it, but only if it’s “girl dick”, so they’re not really queers. Right. I’m sorry, anyone who sleeps with me or my wife is bisexual by default. (They are also intelligent, have excellent taste, and sit down carefully several times a month.)

I resent the fact that there isn’t enough hot, sexy porn written, photographed, and filmed that stars real (or could-be-real) transfolk with our real-life anatomical variety (and the variety of things that we are willing or unwilling to do with them) in ways that make us look strong, passionate, and like something worth drooling over. We need to do something about this, starting yesterday.

So I’ll start with this: Recently, a bunch of us transfolk were sitting around in a living room (OK, it was mine), and we started listing all the interesting names we have for our pre- or non-op genitals. (Vocabulary: Because less than half of us get surgery, most of us are “pre-operative”, meaning we haven’t been able to get the funding together to have the lower chassis rebuilt, or “non-operative”, meaning we choose not to risk iffy surgeries.) In order to deal with screwing around whilst using flesh bits we’d rather were quite different, we rename and reframe them by various little tricks – like using other terms for them.

Here’s our list. If it offends you, stop reading. You have been warned.

Transwomen’s penises: Clit On A Stick; Big Clit; The Decoration; Tootsie Roll (a la Lady Chablis); Inside-Out Cunt

Transwomen’s anal passages: Almostcunt; Earth Hole (as opposed to Water Hole); Cloaca (because, like birds and reptiles, one does everything with it); Temp Cunt

Transmen’s clits: Dicklet (or Diclit); Cocklet; Minicock; Hot Button

Transmen’s strap-on penises: Magic Dick (as opposed to girl dick or boy dick); Rubber Hose, Magic Wand (never goes soft!); Cock Mask; Detachable Penis

Transmen’s vaginas: Front Hole; Auxiliary Asshole; Inside-Out Cock; Fisting Hole; Cockpit; Boycunt; Glory Hole; Guy Pie; Bonus Round

Head spinning yet? Good. This is just to get you thinking of all the ways new vocabulary can rename and reframe anatomy and action. What we can name, we can tell stories about. What we can tell stories about, we can tell hot, gooey, heavy-breathing, squirmin’-in-your-chair stories about. And if we can do that, we can create a picture in people’s minds of what it might be like to do “this” with “that”.

There are a lot of sexual activities that I enjoy now that I never would have imagined I’d enjoy when I was, say, seventeen. Maybe that’s just about getting older, but I strongly suspect it has more to do with learning about new things. There are things I do now that I didn’t even have a clear mental picture of at seventeen, so I couldn’t fantasize about them. If we give people a fantasy – “you and that hot tranny with a seven rubber gloves, a tube of lube, an enema bag, and a couple of lurid red-and-black striped rubber sex toys, on the bathroom floor-”….well, you might start slipping yourself into that mental role, just to see if it fits. Maybe it won’t. Maybe it will and you’ll beat off to it for three nights straight.

It’s what I first learned about sex: context creates heat. Context makes you feel like you know what you’re doing, and you want to be doing it. Everything else we can do ourselves, with a little patience and a whole lot of lube.

—

Renaming and Reframing: Sex and the Third Gender

2004, amboyz.org

Understanding the Third Sex and Issues Related with Transgender

Transgender are not uncommon in our societies throughout the world. However, often they fail to attain a respectable and much deserved comfortable life in the world of the two predominant sexes of the society.

Transgender people are present in every country including US, Russia, Mexico, Britain, India, China etc. Yet, societies often discard them as unwanted. In some countries, transgender are allowed to be a part of the society, however, they find it difficult to mix up within the society freely and often they suffer humiliation, discrimination and poverty.

The major issue that a transgender faces is the difficulty in expressing their gender and the related issues. However, in some countries, like India, transgender are provided a special societal position, they often live in groups and there are some successful transgender in professional and political mainstreams of India.

Yet, except a few successful transgender, the majority of people belonging to this third sex suffer discrimination, humiliation and hatred.

How to Deal with a Transgender?

A man or woman may find it difficult and confusing to mingle with a transgender. The basic problem that you will face is the uncertainty about how to act in the presence of a transgender without doing anything that may hurt their feeling or emotions or may cause them to feel humiliated.

In general, people do not want to hurt them, yet, our general confusion, awkwardness and uncertainty becomes a reason for their humiliation. The Issue of the Gender of a Transgender Officially, only male and female are considered as the two present sexes. Hence, a transgender find it difficult to try to seek proper education, job or official help.

This is because most of the official papers demand gender identity while transgender is not an officially recognized gender while the only two gender identities mentioned in official papers are male or female. In such a situation, a transgender find if forced on them to lie about their gender identity and to present themselves either as a male or a female.

It would be better if government organizations and in fact private corporate firms also try to solve out this issue by either providing valid identification for the third gender as transgender, or by making it optional to declare the sex identity of a person. This issue is pretty similar to the issue of allowing free choice of either to mention someone’s sexual behaviour or not to mention it.

Just like a bisexual or homosexual person finds it difficult to announce his or her personal sexual orientation, a transgender also may find it humiliating to announce about their gender. If you come in contact with a transgender, you should try not to show your confusion about how to react in such a situation.

Use appropriate language while conversing with a transgender and try not to make an issue of “by what gender should they be recognized?” Transgender people are cool and friendly and often they love to converse with males and females without any hesitation while trying to answer all possible queries or curiosities a person may feel about them.

However, while asking questions and trying to know more about them, you need to be respectful and patient while giving them enough space and proper time to answer your queries appropriately. Just like a male or female, transgender are human beings and they deserves every individual right along with proper respect and humanly love.

If you don’t know my Gender: Just ask Me

After 55 years of my life a scientist has just figured out what I and most transsexuals already knew at the age of four or five and that’s what Gender we are. ““To discover who or what a child is … you have to ask them,” Dr. William Reiner of the Oklahoma University Health Science Center told a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Although his study was done on intersexed Children whose lives he followed into adulthood his thinking can most defintley be applied to Transsexuals as well. “There is no one biological parameter that clearly defines sex,” added Dr. Eric Vilain of the University of California, Los Angeles, whose research suggests gender is genetically hard-wired into the brain before birth — regardless of which genitalia develop.

After years of assigning Gender to intersexed children based on their chromosomes and what would be best for the child, they now admit that was mistake. So imagine the horror of little Johnny or Mary who are forced to live in a Gender forced upon them by someone else. Imagine the terror as they are injected with the hormones from the wrong gender giving them secondary sexual characteristics and body changes that are foreign to them. So why didn’t anyone ever listen to the screams of these children before. What about the Transsexuals who were stopped from being the gender they knew they were?

That’s right folks. The kids really did know what gender they were at the tender age of four. Transsexuals and the intersexed have been saying this since they remember. Did anyone listen to us before? NO!!! Isn’t it amazing that our brains develop long before our genitals do in the womb.

Bringing up a child in the wrong gender is nothing short of torture for the kids involved. Wearing the wrong clothes, playing with the wrong toys and the whole time just plain not fitting in. At 13 you start turning into a monster if you’re a Male to Female (MTF) Transsexual. Your beautiful voice changes, body hair starts growing, muscles start forming and you turn into a hairy monster. For a trans person this is one nightmare from which you never wake up. You start wondering if Vincent Price and Bella Lagosi the kings of the horror flicks are invading your dreams. “Remember” says my Dad who stands me up from my sitting position to pee standing up “this is for your own good”.

I declared my name to be Marsha at age 4. I changed it to Laura at the age of seven. My best friends name was Marsha. We played house all the time and I was the Mommy. My father kept tossing bags of toy soldiers at me, along with a football and a set of six guns all the time shouting he would make a man out of me. My lifes been hell ever since. I told them I was a girl and no one listened.

Its time for everybody to “wake up and smell the coffee”. I don’t dress up as a woman as a choice. I am a woman dammit. Ok, so the study I’m talking about is for intersexed children. Certainly anyone with half a brain can see the similarities here.

Speaking of studies, where are the studies about transsexual children? There aren’t any? Why not? Because a conservative, religiously influenced government is not going to approve any grant with that dirty word “SEX” in it. That’s why. So transSEXuals have to wait 4 more years for even a chance at getting more humane and compassionate human beings in government Offices. Meanwhile, the torture legally continues for about a million or so Transsexuals. So who do I scream at?

2006, by Laura Amato @Laura’s Playground

Intersex Conditions

According to Prof. John Money, who has carried out extensive work within the field of gender identity, as many as four per cent of people are born with neither a clear male nor a clear female identity. This would mean around two and a quarter million people in Britain may be living with some form of intersex condition. Of these, many may suffer no discomfort or distress, they may not even be aware that medically they are classified as intersex. For others the condition produces profound symptoms at many levels.

Diagnosis of intersex is based mainly on physical observation, where biological and structural differences within the body are seen to vary from the accepted model for male or female. This is in contrast to transsexualism, which largely concerns brain sex because the brain perceives the individual’s gender identity to be the opposite of their physical appearance. At birth the first classification of a new human being is usually ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ according to the genitals. There are in fact four ways of recognising a baby’s sex, these are: genetic sex, biological sex according to internal organs, biological sex according to external sex organs, and brain sex. Where there is no obvious abnormality of the external sex organs the baby will be registered accordingly and its social conditioning into the relevant gender role immediately begins. In a small percentage of people, however, the external genitals may be ambiguous at birth, so no clear assessment of male or female is possible, or hidden conditions may come to light in the course of the child’s development.

The sex of a baby is established early in pregnancy and depends on which chromosome pair exists within the developing foetus. A foetus bearing an XY chromosome pair develops as male while the XX chromosome pair will develop a female. It is the Y chromosome that stimulates development of male testes and regression of female ovaries, and where this Y chromosome is absent the female system continues to develop unimpeded. However, other chromosome combinations are possible, leading to development which may produce an intersex state to a greater or lesser degree. The most commonly seen are Turner’s Syndrome (XO), Klinefelter’s Syndrome (XXY or XXXY) and combinations such as XXX (super female) or XYY (super male). Wherever there is a Y in the combination it is likely the foetus will develop along male lines, although exposure to hormones is also a crucial factor in sex development. Over or under exposure in the womb to male or female hormones may lead to a physical appearance at birth which does not match the chromosomal make up and/or brain identity. When considering the extremely complex cocktail of factors which must combine correctly to produce a clear and undisputed identity of male or female, it becomes easier to understand how the balance may be disturbed during foetal development producing intersex conditions. Gender dysphoria, the sense of dissatisfaction experienced when brain and body identity do not match, can begin in early childhood, while for some intersex children the confusion does not begin until their condition starts to reveal itself at puberty. It can be alarming for a boy to suddenly begin developing breasts, or for a girl to find testes descend from her body or a beard growing on her face. Nor is society always kind to such children. Family, friends and even the medical profession may fail them, leading to unhappy and sometimes tragic consequences.

Hermaphroditism and Intersexuality

Cases of a true hermaphrodite, someone with both sets of genitals formed and functioning, are considered to be extremely rare. Because both male and female genitalia develop from a common source, it would not be possible for an individual to have two ovaries and two testes, but it may be possible for one ovary and one testicle to develop. More common would be a case where both male and female genitalia are present but one or both are not fully formed. Such a case may be referred to as intersex, as the two terms are frequently synonymous. The genitals may resemble those of a female with a large clitoris and the labia fused together, or they may look more like those of a male with a small penis and empty scrotum. Severe cases may be obvious at birth where the baby is said to have ambiguous genitalia and surgery may be carried out so that the child can be assigned to either the male or female gender. In some cases the child is not told about this and there are stories of people who suffer extreme distress on discovering the truth in later life. Even where surgery has created a passable exterior presentation, function may be limited with ‘girls’ failing to menstruate or become fertile and ‘boys’ unable to produce an erection or father children. It may only be when the person visits the doctor for investigation into problems such as these that the underlying condition comes light. Where surgery is carried out soon after birth, it is too early to recognise the brain sex of the individual. Further problems may arise later in life if the child has been assigned one sex but proves to have the gender identity of the opposite sex, they may experience degrees of gender dysphoria similar to that found in transsexuality, alternatively, they may be happy with their sex or rearing but dissatisfied because their physical body does not conform to accepted norms of being completely male or female.

Klinefelter’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is XXY or XXXY. A baby will often be classified as male at birth, and there may be no unusual signs until puberty. It is believed to be present in about 1 in 1000 male births, but there are wide variations in intensity of symptoms and degree of ambiguity. Men with Klinefelter’s may have small testes, or they may be normal in size but produce lower than average qualities of testosterone. At puberty therefore strong secondary male characteristics may fail to develop, some boys will develop breasts, and in some cases there may be a distinct hermaphrodite structure with womb and ovaries. Most Klinefelter’s people will show common distinguishing features to a greater or lesser degree. These include being tall, a tendency to obesity, rounded shoulders, soft skin and face, a soft voice, no adams apple and possibly breasts. There may be low testosterone production and some oestrogen production as well. Individuals may suffer from some mental retardation or could show super intelligence. Depending on the degree of symptoms, and the presence and intensity of gender dysphoria or social discomfort, the Klinefelter’s person may choose medical treatment, including surgery, to identify more fully with one gender role, or may develop a dual gender lifestyle.

Turner’s Syndrome

In these cases the chromosome mosaic is X, with the second X missing and children are usually classified as female. It is believed to affect around 1 in 10,000 girl births. The external genitalia usually appear normal and the brain sex is female, but the ovaries do not develop leading to infertility and low hormone production. There is a strong possibility of mental retardation.

Testicular Feminisation

Some babies who are genetically male with an XY chromosome while in the womb do not produce male hormones, especially testosterone, in sufficient quantities to develop male external sex organs. Alternatively they may produce testosterone but it is not recognised by the body and so does not trigger off such development. This condition is believed to occur in 1 in 50,000 births. Because of the female appearance at birth they are likely to be registered and raised as female, only when they fail to menstruate at puberty might their true genetic makeup be discovered. Although legally female, a ‘girl’ with this syndrome may develop secondary male characteristics such as a deep voice.

Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia

These are genetically female with an XX chromosome but the adrenal glands produce large amounts of hormones similar to testosterone. It is believed to occur in around 1 in 80,000 births. At birth the genitalia may appear male or ambiguous, although the person usually possesses ovaries. There may also be metabolic imbalances, and this may lead to early diagnosis of the condition.

Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome

This condition can occur spontaneously, but is usually an inherited genetic condition that tends to run in families. The AIS person has the male XY chromosome and produces hormones which inhibit development of interior female organs such as uterus and cervix. However due to failure to respond to testosterone the baby does not develop male genitals and at birth will appear female. Although they may develop breasts at puberty the vagina is small or absent and they do not menstruate. They are also unlikely to develop much body hair. Where the syndrome is diagnosed, undescended testes may be surgically removed due to risk of cancer, and vaginoplasty can be performed in some cases to lengthen the vagina.

There are two types of AIS: most (90%) of girls have external genitals that are completely female (but with no internal female organs) and this is known as Complete AIS (CAIS, technically AIS Grades 7 & 6). The remaining girls have Partial AIS (PAIS), their outward genital appearance may lie anywhere from almost completely female (AIS Grade 5) through to almost completely male (Grade 3).

In partial AIS the person may have the appearance of normal male genitalia but be infertile However most PAIS and all CAIS babies are reared as female for the following reasons: they will be infertile as males; they will have a female type puberty; they will not be able to function sexually as a man but they will be able to do so as a woman. However, there are cases where some PAIS persons raised as boys change over to being female in later life. (see the AIS group website as listed below).

Cloecal Extrophy

This is an extremely rare genetic disorder where it is impossible to determine the sex of the baby at birth. There may be no sign of any sex organs, or only small and undeveloped parts, the person will be unable to have children and may need to take hormone supplements throughout their life. Surgery may be carried out to assist the person to live a normal life. This condition was highlighted in the UK in the case of Joella who was initially registered as male but at 16 months was reassigned as female following surgery. Joella’s mother fought a highly publicised battle to change her child’s birth certificate.

Hypospadias

This condition is found in males where the penis is not formed correctly. The urethra does not run to the tip of the penis but exits along the underside. The degree of displacement can vary, and the condition is usually corrected with surgery in uncomplicated cases. Hypospadias may be present in certain intersex conditions or may be the only abnormality present.

Gender Trust – 2003, This information sheet is distributed by the Gender Trust and is intended as a basis for information only. The Gender Trust does not accept responsibility for the accuracy of any information contained in this sheet.